Help for Single Moms: Ways to Find Support

Being a parent brings many ups and downs. Children can bring loads of joy, but they also come with their fair share of strain and hardship. The cost of raising a child to adulthood in the United States was approximately $267,233 in 2021, according to a report by US News and World.

Paid maternity leave, subsidized health and childcare, and universal preschool can help if you have access, but, regardless, raising children can cause incredible financial pressure to parents. How much more of a strain can it be if you are a single parent! Single moms face not only financial challenges, but also other unique difficulties.

Besides being exciting and life-altering, motherhood also gives self-doubt, sleepless nights, and endless worries. Motherhood requires a great amount of patience and selflessness, and let’s be honest, every mother needs help along the way. The more support you have, the better.

Whether you are a single mom who is looking for ways to flourish or you are someone seeking to be helpful to a single mom, this article is for you. We all need support from others to live our best lives, and in this, single moms are no different.

If You Know a Single Mom

If you have a single mama in your world, there are several things that you can do to help lighten her load. Some of these will take some emotional and financial investment, while others will require that you simply give of your time and thoughtfulness.

Don’t require a backstory before you decide to help out The journey to someone being a single mom doesn’t look the same for everyone, and there are many reasons why someone may be a single mom. Whatever path has led her to being a single mom, you don’t need to know the backstory before you show compassion. If she wants to tell you her story, that is up to her, but you can be present and available without ever knowing all the details.

Help her out with basic responsibilities Sometimes life gets overwhelming even for a two-parent household. Between running errands, maintaining the house and yard, taking care of a sick child, and more, it can be hard to get a moment of peace or accomplish everything you’d like to.

You can step in by mowing her lawn or weeding her garden once a month. You can go to the grocery store on her behalf or carpool to help lift the burden of ferrying the kids around. Maybe she needs some plumbing work done, but can’t afford it, and you happen to be handy that way.

She would probably love help with an oil change or car wash. Free babysitting can be an enormous blessing. You can offer to take the kids once a month so that she can have a scheduled time to be by herself or with friends.

Cook her a meal that she can eat with her kids (with extra to put in the freezer). That takes a load off her. You can also be part of her emergency backup plan – in case a child is sick, and she can’t get off work, or if she comes down with an illness herself.

Treat her to something special In the absence of a partner, she may not have someone to lavish affection on her or to treat her on special occasions. Let’s be honest, when the budget is tight, one doesn’t think about treats like chocolate, flowers, or getting a mani-pedi. These can be great treats for your single mom friend.

You can write her a card to encourage her and let her know you support her. On the pricier side, you can get her useful subscriptions such as the gym, Amazon Prime, or a grocery delivery service. If you do get her a subscription, consult with her before you do it and let her know how long you’re willing to pay for the subscription.

If her children are old enough, take them shopping and let them pick out a Mother’s Day or birthday present for their mom. This allows you to teach the children about showing love and gratitude and will make the mom feel loved and seen.

Be present for her and her family Being a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on can be a huge help for anyone, and that goes for single moms, too. She may need someone to vent to, bounce ideas off of, or talk through a problem she’s facing. Sometimes, having a friend to have adult conversations with can be a blessing.

Simply being there for her and checking in with her can make a world of difference. If you can, offer hospitality to her and the children. You can invite them over for the holidays or for meals at your place. Where appropriate, you can donate items such as your gently used clothes or toys. This can save her a lot of money, especially if her kids are still growing.

Whether you know a single mom or not, you can also donate to organizations that assist single moms, and you can also direct your single mom friends to these resources as well.

If You Are a Single Mom

You are the first to know that being a single mom has its challenges and joys. While it is hard to raise children alone, you also get to choose how to raise them. None of us can do it all, so supportive networks are crucial to come around you and walk with you on your journey. This requires a single mom to be willing to let your needs be known and to allow others to help.

Your life might have led you to resist receiving help. It can seem daunting and embarrassing to be vulnerable and allow another to know your needs and provide help. However, we all need others at some point. Bearing the challenges of parenting can cost you mentally, emotionally, or physically, so getting good help where you can is one way to take care of yourself, avoid burning out, and take better care of your children.

Here are a few things you can do to ease your way:

Find a support group Being connected to other single parents, going through similar challenges can be a huge help. Do some research into reputable organizations that do this kind of work. It may open up opportunities for enriching discussions on parenting, play dates with other parents and their kids, and friendship. Checking in with your local churches for single mom community groups could be a viable resource.

Form a caregiving and support network You can talk with the people you know and trust for recommendations for babysitters. You can look up reputable websites such as SitterCity or Care. If the people in your life make themselves available to help with caring for you or your children, allow them to.

Obviously, you don’t have to say “Yes” to every offer of help. You need to use wisdom and discernment in leaving your children with others. However, having a vibrant support network will help you in emergencies and also in daily life.

Make use of the various resources for financial and other assistance Many governmental and community resources are available to single moms. They can help take care of your needs. Dialing 211 in most states will give you access (in multiple languages) to information and how to obtain referrals.

It will suggest where you can find physical and mental health resources, as well as housing, utility, food, and employment assistance. You’ll be able to get access to many types of resources.

• Work Support Access financial assistance, job training, transportation assistance, and education programs
• Basic Human Needs Helps through food banks, clothing banks, shelters, rent assistance, and utility assistance
• Children, Youth, and Family Support This includes childcare, after-school programs, educational programs for low-income families, family resource centers, summer camps and recreation programs, mentoring, tutoring, and protective services.
• Health Insurance Medicaid and Medicare, maternal health, children’s health insurance programs, medical information, crisis intervention, support groups, counseling, drug and alcohol intervention, and rehabilitation are just a few of the things that insurance will assist you with.

Some specific programs that you might benefit from include the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), which can help with access to healthy food, or the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program (LIHEAP), which covers home energy costs and repairs due to energy-related issues. Insure Kids Now helps children and teens receive low-cost health insurance.

You can also look at various charities that help single parents, such as Helping Hands For Single Moms, the Single Parent Project, HOPE, Inc., and Help A Mother Out. Some organizations only serve specific areas in the United States, so you should look around for what’s available near you.

Additionally, several scholarships and grants are available for single moms, such as the Teach Grant, Women’s Independence Scholarship Program (WISP), and the Global Fund for Women, to help you achieve your educational and other goals.

Help is available

If you are feeling overwhelmed as a single mom or as a friend watching, know that there is hope! It may seem never-ending, but meeting with a counselor can help you piece together what is best for you so you can be your best self for your kids. A therapist can also bring life to the social support that is available for single moms. Call our office today to make an appointment.