Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

As we get older, most of us become more independent of our parents. That might look like going out of state for college or work, entering a serious relationship, and moving across the country or another. It might mean getting a job to provide for yourself, and it may also mean making choices such as taking up our parents’ faith as our own and believing it for ourselves.

Whatever growing up may look like for you, most parents are pleased when their child takes their steps into the world and begins managing life on their own. One unfortunate reality that parents and their children often deal with is that their relationship doesn’t survive the distance or the conflicts that arise throughout the years. This makes it even more important to know how to have good relationships with your parents over the long haul.

Why parent-child relationships matter

Parents play a significant role in how their child grows and develops as a person. Our parents teach us our values and cultivate self-acceptance, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. Our parents are part of our earliest and likely most influential memories, and it’s from them that children learn wisdom, get comfort, and guidance, learn coping skills, and communication skills, and get practical help.

When we get older, our parents are a reservoir and pass on family traditions, cultural heritage, and stories about our family that can’t be Googled or found elsewhere. Parents also provide emotional support for children of any age, and as a child gets older they can also support their parents. While one’s relationship with their parents changes over time, they can continue to be a source of wisdom and valuable life experiences.

Honoring your father and mother doesn’t look the same as you get older and as the parent-child dynamic changes. Nonetheless, the Lord places our parents in our lives with good reason, and there is great benefit in having a good relationship with your parents over the long haul.

Maintaining a good relationship with your parents

Building and maintaining healthy family relationships is good for your emotional and mental health. Maintaining good relations with your parents as an adult can be achieved in various ways, including the following:

Communicating openly and honestly

As you get older, your relationship with your parents might have more room for you to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with them. Beyond sharing, you can also listen to theirs, perhaps in fresh ways you hadn’t before.

Respecting boundaries

Having a good relationship with your folks is a two-way street. Part of how to have good relationships is to establish and respect each other’s independence and personal space, and to honor each other’s boundaries. Setting clear expectations may be helpful, and you can discuss and agree on boundaries and responsibilities, and understand each other’s communication styles.

Showing appreciation and gratitude

In every relationship, gratitude and appreciation help nurture a healthy mutual regard. It helps the other person feel seen. Take the time to express thanks for their support and love.

Maintaining regular contact

Shared experiences and moments help to nurture a sense of connection, particularly if those times are positive. Schedule regular phone calls, visits, or activities together to maintain your bonds. You can create new memories together through planned trips or engaging family traditions, strengthening your bond.

Supporting each other’s goals and dreams

Your parents may be older than you, but that doesn’t mean they can’t use support or your presence. Take time and create space to encourage and celebrate each other’s successes. Alongside this, showing an interest in your parents’ lives by asking after their well-being, hobbies, and interests shows you care about them.

Forgiving and letting go

There is no parent who hasn’t done something their child didn’t appreciate, and every parent has done things that their child needs healing from. How much healing will vary, but there’s no perfect parent. It’s hard, and it can be harder if your parent hasn’t changed or apologized for their actions. You must release grudges and resentments, and lean into moving forward with love and understanding.

Helping with responsibilities and tasks

We all need help at times, and you can assist your parents with household chores, errands, or caregiving when needed. It may be necessary to help them find a caregiver.

Respecting their wisdom and experience

As you grow older, your relationship with your parents changes. However, there is much to be gained from coming to them for wisdom and calling upon their life experiences. Seek their advice and guidance when facing challenges, whether at work, in relationships, or in other areas of life. Giving them the chance to speak into your life can be a huge blessing.

Being patient and understanding

Your parents are sinners in need of repentance, just like you. They are from a different generation and may view things differently from you. Recognize that your parents are aging and may need extra support; that may include being patient with them if they need you to explain something to them for the umpteenth time.

As a man, your relationship with your mom and dad will evolve. Your life is enriched in innumerable ways by having a healthy relationship with your folks. As you grow older, through open communication, respect, and empathy, you can nurture a strong and loving relationship with your parents. There may be challenges in the relationship, but you and they can seek support through counseling, for instance, to have a healthy relationship.

If you don’t have a healthy relationship with your parents, you can reach out and speak to someone about it. A counselor can help you effectively process and learn to cope well with hurt, disappointment, anger, or other thoughts and feelings regarding your parents. Contact our offices today to learn more.