Every relationship has its points of stress, those areas that tend to generate friction and conflict between the couple. Even the happiest couples that have been together for a long time will have fights. Whether you are happy, or you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, couples therapy just might be what you need.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy directed at couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship. Through a variety of techniques, your therapist will get to know you both. In your sessions together, you’ll unpack whatever is happening in your relationship, and your therapist will provide you with the space you need to explore your thoughts and feelings about where you are in your relationship.
Couples therapy is aimed at helping couples develop a deeper appreciation of their relationship, cultivating better communication to reduce conflict, and teaching the couple skills that will help their relationship flourish. These skills may include problem-solving, goal-setting, conflict resolution, nurturing intimacy and trust, and better communication.
Some of the issues and concerns that couples therapy will address include the following:
- Constant conflict.
- Poor communication.
- Lack of intimacy in the relationship and growing apart from each other.
- Grief and loss, including the loss of a child through miscarriage, or an inability to conceive.
- Mental health concerns for one or both of you, including anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder.
- Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in and around your relationship.
- Loss of trust due to emotional or sexual infidelity .
- Financial concerns, including job loss.
- Amicably handling differences in your faith commitments or political outlook.
- Goal setting.
- Divorce .
- Resentment or anger toward one another.
- Anger issues.
- Issues of abuse such as emotional abuse and domestic violence.
- Substance abuse and addiction.
- Major life adjustments, such as menopause, midlife crisis, an empty nest, or retirement.
Who is couples therapy for?
Do you and your partner need couples therapy? Most people will assume that counseling is a last-ditch effort when all else has failed; when things are on the brink of collapse, that’s when you go for counseling.
This mindset results in many couples waiting until the relationship has virtually broken down before seeking help. The truth, however, is that couples therapy is for every couple, whether their relationship is healthy or not.
Couples therapy helps couples be the best they can be for themselves and each other. Yes, couples therapy can be used for troubleshooting, but it has a long view in mind. A couple may need to overcome a current issue.
They also have to be equipped to understand why the issue arose to begin with, and how to address it in the future. In this way, couples therapy is for every couple that wishes to have a sustained, rich, deep connection with one another.
Therefore, couples therapy is for couples who have a specific issue they wish to have addressed, but it also has its place for couples who are in a good place and want to maintain that connection.
Whether you’re struggling with something specific in your relationship and are close to or at breaking point, or you’re in a good place with your partner and just want some input to stay on the same page, couples therapy is for you.
Finding the right couples therapist for you
Could you benefit from couples therapy? Most definitely! Couples therapy can benefit any couple. To get the most out of it, it’s important that you find the right therapist for you. Therapy is a collaborative process, and you get out of it what you put in. Your therapist is your partner in the process, and it’s good to find one who you feel comfortable with, and who will challenge you when you need it.
To be sure, couples therapy will be challenging. It will involve sharing parts of yourself. Your therapist will explore areas of your lives and your relationship that you may feel uncomfortable about, or painful memories that you might prefer to keep buried. To heal, you need to clean out the wound and apply the balm, and that isn’t always a comfortable or pain-free process.
You should be willing to ask questions of your prospective therapist, such as if their therapeutic technique incorporates elements of your faith commitments. Aside from asking questions about their approach to healing, you can get practical – where are they located, do they do sessions remotely via the web, and are they in your health insurance’s network? All of these considerations will help you decide which therapist is best for you.
Whichever therapist you choose, taking that step is a positive one for your relationship. It signals your commitment to work on your relationship and to change things for the better.
“Walking on the Beach”, Courtesy of Frank Van Hulst, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Embrace”, Courtesy of Federica Giacomazzi, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Stand By Me”, Courtesy of Jonas Weckschmied, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
- Kate Motaung: Curator
Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging...
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