How to Fix Your Marriage After the Affair

Having a marriage damaged by infidelity is intensely painful. But the affair does not automatically mean the end of a marriage union. This brief article describes how fix your marriage after the affair.

While it is true that there are not much harder knocks a marriage can take than the sense of betrayal and heartbreak of infidelity, experience shows that when both marriage partners are committed to ensuring their relationship is rebuilt and completely healed, many marriage relationships do survive. Sometimes they thrive after the affair because of the renewed bonds of intimacy.

Defining an affair.

There is no one set definition of an affair that everyone subscribes to. It could be that one person in the marriage relationship defines infidelity differently from what their partner does.

This could be when there is an emotional connection between a marriage partner and another person. Does the fact that there was no sex automatically mean that there was no infidelity? Each marriage partner needs to come to a clear understanding of what betrayal means for the marriage.

What are the reasons for affairs?

Unfortunately, affairs happen in all types of marriages. This may include those which seem happy and content, and more typically those which already experience a variety of issues. These factors are often listed as a lack of affection,falling ‘out of love’ with the other, having a weak commitment to the relationship, low self-esteem, physical and mental health issues, and some types of addiction.

Stressful periods, such as being apart for a long time, or major life changes, like when your children leave home, as well as problems that are not addressed inside the marriage such as avoiding conflict, or a fear of intimacy all add to the likelihood of an affair taking place.

The process of discovery after the affair.

Powerful emotions are often set off when an affair is revealed. The cheated partner may feel like they are traumatized by the betrayal of their trust and the disappearance of the emotional safety of their marriage. The partner who was unfaithful may feel terribly guilty and as if they will never be forgiven.

Should this happen to you or someone you know be sure not to make rash decisions. If you think that you pose a physical danger to yourself, or another person, then do not hesitate to get help from a professional.

Space is often required by both parties. In this time of emotional uncertainty and tension your behavior may be erratic and unpredictable. It may be better to give yourself and your marriage partner some time. During this time be sure not to get into heightened and emotional discussions, especially as you begin the healing process.

Getting help after the affair is sometimes the thing we least want to do. But having the chance to share your feelings with trusted friends and loved ones who then support and encourage you can be priceless. Do not keep the company of people who tend to be judgmental, critical, or biased.

Do not dive into the details right away. Rather take your time and if you need to know the details you will benefit from the guidance of a professional therapist.

Fix your marriage after the affair.

The recovery from an affair is likely to be one of the most difficult times of your marriage relationship. There will be mixed emotions and feelings of insecurity.

However, many experiences have been recorded showing that when spouses rebuild the trust between them, take responsibility for their actions, resolve their conflict in a healthy manner, and give and receive forgiveness, then the healing process may well provide a richer and more rewarding marriage relationship than ever before.

Get help as you try to fix your marriage after the affair.

If you are looking for help as you try to fix your marriage after the affair, browse our online counselor directory or contact our office at Frisco Christian Counseling in Texas to schedule an appointment. We would be honored to walk with you on this journey.