Personal Development

3 key coping mechanisms for stress

2024-10-23T10:22:16+00:00September 30th, 2024|Anger Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Featured, Personal Development, Psychological Testing|

What is stress? We encounter many situations in life where we feel under pressure or under threat. Those situations can be as varied as having a lot of work to do and working under tight deadlines, experiencing relational distress such as when there’s conflict in your family, going through a divorce or separation, experiencing a serious illness, being bullied, going through job loss or financial difficulty, or the loss of a loved one. Sometimes, even what we would typically consider positive life changes and events, such as going for a vacation, finding and moving into a bigger house, getting married, or getting a promotion at work can be significant sources of stress. When we experience these and many other things, we can become stressed. One way to understand stress is to see it as how we react when are under pressure or feeling threatened in a situation that seems beyond our ability to manage or control. When you feel stressed, your body produces stress hormones that trigger the ‘fight or flight’ response and activate your immune system to enable you to respond quickly to dangerous or threatening situations. This ‘fight or flight’ response causes respiratory, cardiovascular, and nervous system changes, such as giving you a temporary burst of energy, making you breathe rapidly, making your heart beat faster, or making you sweat and your muscles tense up. The problem emerges when this stress response is triggered frequently and without relief. When that happens, stress can harm your mental health. One important aspect of stress is that we all deal with it in different ways. In fact, what we consider stressful will vary between individuals, as does the ability to cope with stress. The things that stress one individual may not be experienced as stressful by someone else. This can [...]

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Exercise and Mental Health: Benefits of Self-Care

2024-10-29T12:07:17+00:00August 5th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

There’s a kind of rush and sense of euphoria that comes from getting your body moving. You could be dancing, running, roller-skating, doing parkour, cycling, lifting weights, or playing a game of pickleball, but when you get moving, it feels good. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14, ESV), and our bodies, minds, and emotions work together in connected and often complicated ways, meaning that mental health is important. Mental health and you When you’re not doing alright in one area of your life, that can have an impact on other areas. If your mental health suffers, for instance, that affects your ability to work, play, and have meaningful interactions with others. According to the World Health Organization, mental wellness is about being able to cope with the stresses of life, realize your abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute meaningfully to your community. Good mental health allows you to build relationships with others, and make decisions that affect your environment. Many issues can affect a person, and these include factors that aren’t in their control, like genetics, experiences of trauma, or the environment that one is in. There are different ways a person’s mental health can be affected, and the effects can range from mild to severe. There’s a lot of public education that’s still needed regarding mental health, and a good deal of that can be directed at building awareness that mental health issues are common, and there’s no shame in seeking help. Depending on the issue, sometimes taking simple self-help measures will set things right, but in other cases, the intervention of a mental health professional and treatment that includes medication may be required. Some signs of poor mental health When a person is affected negatively by one thing or another, it affects them [...]

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Hit the Target: Overcoming Insecurity in the Goal Setting and Personal Development Journey

2024-10-29T12:07:35+00:00June 5th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Seeing little to no significant change can be frustrating and demoralizing when we reflect upon goals we’ve set but haven’t seen come to fruition. Despite efforts, we can find ourselves discouraged by the gap between what we envisioned with God in one season and our current state, which can produce insecurity and hinder our personal development. Sometimes, we look to nearby distractions such as social media, which floods thoughts and timelines with messages about what we don’t have. In response, we shift focus onto lack instead of the abundance of Who is with us. Sometimes we connect more with the lies and inconsistencies in our reels and feeds than we do with Jesus’ unchanging nature (Hebrews 13:8). We are often more convinced about our inadequacy than in the abundant and all-encompassing God. We believe in the lie of not being, doing, or having enough. Whether trait or talent, we limit our view of who we are and what we are capable of. We misplace hope, pining for things to fill the blanks lodged in our souls. Instead of fostering inspiration to meet our goals and grow in personal development, an insecure and incomplete view of self breeds discontent, discord, and discouragement. Conquering discontentment There will be times when discontent creeps in and attempts to settle within. We can stem the tide, diverting the waves of ingratitude that erode steadfastness and joy. Giving thanks, even along our personal development journey softens our hearts. It makes us ready to respond to the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and ideas that aid us in building what the Father wants to be established on earth. A grateful heart helps us to remain teachable and humble enough to learn, yet patient enough to mentor others with what He’s planted within. Navigating discord Insecurity is based on [...]

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7 Tips for Building Self-esteem

2024-10-29T12:07:45+00:00May 30th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development, Trauma|

Multi-billion-dollar industries have been built around the topic of how to get a good self-image or self-esteem and for good reason. How we think about ourselves has a huge impact on the type of life we live including the opportunities we pursue, the quality of the relationships we have, and our overall mental well-being. Individuals with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy better interactions with people and are less knocked by challenges life throws at them. Those with poor self-esteem struggle and are more likely to develop depression or anxiety or use self-destructive behaviors to try and regulate their underlying feelings. Building self-esteem is also popular because, as people living in a fallen world, we tend to feel broken in some way. This is either a result of childhood trauma, imposed on us, unpleasant experiences during our growing up years (being on the receiving end of bullying at school, for instance), or simply because, on this side of heaven, we will always sense that we are not quite whole. We often try to do everything we can to feel right. Improvement and progress in this area are important. It is liberating, however, to realize that everyone experiences some sort of challenge in this area. The foundational truth which lies at the heart of building self-esteem is a deep understanding of the biblical doctrine of creation. Every person is infinitely valuable because God made them, and we were made in His own image (Genesis 1:27). In ways we can not fully explain, we are like God and can therefore enjoy a relationship with Him. More than that, He has made you with a special purpose in mind, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God created beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:10, ESV) [...]

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Is the Bible Helpful for Building Self Esteem?

2024-09-25T09:07:41+00:00April 29th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

We yearn to stand out and for our lives to mean something to someone. When we feel ignored and overlooked, our self-esteem takes a hit. We feel as if we do not matter and what we do is of no consequence. Yet, throughout the Bible, we see where God has taken the everyday lives of people and blessed them with His anointing. God is the Creator and the ultimate Builder when it comes to building self-esteem. Does God care about me? If you reread the first few chapters of Genesis, you may notice something unique about humans. We are the only creatures God created whom He breathed into to start life. God’s breathed life inside of each one of us and separated us from animals and other creations. God cared for and loved us enough to create us in His image and likeness. What we do matters to God. His Word states that He knows our comings and our goings. Building our self-esteem is wrapped in the realization that God finds us worthy and loved, and we should also find ourselves worthy of love. If God declared our physical bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit, then we should treat our bodies as sacred to God, avoiding substances and behaviors that could harm the body. Humans judge each other based on appearance, intelligence, wealth, social status, education, and other factors. God views our hearts. You may feel insignificant at times, but God views you as a Son or Daughter, the rightful heir along with His Son, Jesus Christ. What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. – Psalm 8:4-5, NIV Building self-esteem with [...]

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Partners on the Path: Encouragement for Overcoming Loneliness

2024-10-29T12:08:07+00:00August 24th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

God created humanity to live in fellowship with Him, but also with one another. When we are missing connection and meaning in relationships, our lives may feel incomplete. Loneliness isn’t only about the absence of people in one’s life, but rather the absence of connection. This is why overcoming loneliness is so important. It is possible to have others around us, to be in relationships that appear to thrive on the surface, yet feel woefully alone. It is our awareness of feeling distanced from God, others, and ourselves in what we identify as significant that produces feelings of loneliness. Adding more people isn’t necessarily the remedy, but a shift in perspective can place us on a more fulfilling path. Our fragmented parts have value to Jesus, contrary to how the world esteems us when we are not quite at our best. It is in these cracked places, where the Lord binds Himself to us and we fuse to Him. This is often when we don’t have all the people or support that we want to have (2 Corinthians 12:9). We can experience the oneness of mutual abiding that the Savior prayed about in Gethsemane, right before going to the Cross on our behalf. He was fully aware that we would encounter many moments in our lives when we would feel the sting of loneliness. He was familiar, having gone to His inner circle, pleading for them to pray with Him in the garden and on the cross when He cried out in agony to His Father. Knowing this, Jesus stood in the gap and made up the hedge, in His intercession for us, praying for the Father to keep us and make us one (Ezekiel 22:30; John 17:20-23). He intervened as the Worthy Lamb who was slain before the [...]

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How to Nurture a Positive Body Image

2024-10-29T12:08:20+00:00June 9th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Of all the people you live with and encounter daily, there isn’t anyone who you need to put up with as much as yourself. You are constantly with yourself, experiencing the various sensations of bodily existence such as the sun on your skin, how laughter wells up within you, or the feeling of a satisfying meal in your belly. A healthy or positive body image is essential for enjoying yourself and appreciating what your body can do. What is body image? The term ‘body image’ refers to how you perceive your physical appearance. That relates to your skin, hair, weight, height, facial appearance, and any other physical characteristic of your body. This perception of yourself is influenced by the interaction of several complex factors such as your thoughts about your body, the messages you received about your body while growing up, and how the culture you’re in represents bodies and perceives beauty. When you have a positive body image, you are satisfied with your body and accept as well as appreciate it. On the other hand, a negative body image is when you’re not happy with your body and dislike one or more attributes about yourself. A positive body image may look like seeing yourself as you are most of the time, as well as accepting your body and feeling comfortable in it even when it may depart from broader societal beauty standards. Having a positive body image doesn’t mean you always feel good about yourself or that you’re happy with every part of your body. It does mean that on most days you are happy and feel confident about how you look, and you appreciate what your body can do more than you lament what you can’t do. Nurturing a positive view of your body. A person can have [...]

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Seasons Change: Navigating Boundaries and Life Transitions

2024-10-29T12:09:04+00:00April 29th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

As much as the beginnings of relationships are important, it is essential to recognize the value of endings. Embracing conclusion makes room for our relationships to flex with the Father’s purposes that flourish in new seasons and in burgeoning relationships. When we allow ourselves to process boundaries and transitions and exit one period of our lives, we are better equipped to enter the next. Although adapting to newness presents its own challenges, accepting the end imparts the grace needed to trust God, regardless of who or what flows with us from one season to the next. The abiding Presence of the Holy Spirit strengthens and sustains us through turbulence associated with transition and change. Reconfiguring boundaries and traversing transition feels awkward and uncomfortable. We may not know how to shift boundaries as seasons change in our lives, but we cling to the promise of Jesus to be with us always. Relational changes involve creative conversations, first with the Lord in addition to communing with our hearts before we share with others. The Holy Spirit will illuminate our path with the Word of God, giving insight and instruction on what to say and when. He is the brilliance of the Father, the relationship genius who knows every human heart and how to navigate it. We can rely on Him to guide us through uncertain times, so that we honor God, ourselves, and others as our lives and relationships undergo transition. Here, Jesus expertly makes all things new, and causes them, including seasons of transformation, to work together for good and ultimately His glory (Revelation 21:4; Romans 8:28). Metamorphosis affords the grace to embrace imperfection in the secret place while being perfected by the Spirit of Christ. Through Jesus’ finished work, we learn to extend what we have received to evolve, [...]

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Proactive Ways to Deal with Stress

2024-10-29T12:09:29+00:00January 13th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

You know what it feels like when you do not or cannot manage stress properly. And it is blatantly obvious when others let stress influence them. Not being able to deal with conflict constructively, not listening properly, battling to solve problems, struggling to stay positive – and that is just at home. At work, illness and time off drop your productivity even lower than the reduced performance stress was causing you to achieve. In this article we'll discuss some proactive ways to deal with stress. It is far better to find proactive ways to deal with stress by paying attention to two factors that can make a big difference: how the environment you are in causes stress, and how you manage that stress. Everyone’s environment creates stress points for them; tackling them means you look at coping mechanisms and management techniques aimed at reducing these stress points. The other side of the same coin is to look at strategies that will help put you in a stronger, more agile frame of mind. This is a more comfortable place to be where our heart rates and blood pressure are not elevated and where we feel confident. How to understand stress. Now, before we dive in deeper it is important to define stress: Stress is our experience of being confronted with a stressful situation – also known as stressors. This will look like an unpredictable piece of bad news, a work deadline, or an upcoming bill payment. These stressors are factors that cause us to experience stress. The expectation your spouse has of you to remember your wedding anniversary and celebrate it in a way that shows you considered them when you planned it, maybe a stressor that is interpreted as stress. Stress is experienced when we see upcoming threats or [...]

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How to Stop Stress Eating

2024-10-29T12:10:04+00:00November 24th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

You had a stressful day at work. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. You’re finally home when you see an email. You ignore it only to be met with another problem at home. You feel the tension rising and you instinctively reach for that bag of chips in the cabinet. Crunching away, you finally start to feel better after stress-eating to your way to the bottom of the bag. Maybe you respond differently. You spent the day at the hospital with a loved one only to come home exhausted and frustrated from the day. You know you should eat something, but you just can’t muster it, so you skip dinner completely. What is happening? How are both of these scenarios linked? It could be stress eating. There is no shortage of stress, especially in recent years. People are finding all sorts of ways to cope. According to the American Psychological Association, twenty-seven percent of adults say they eat to manage stress while thirty percent of adults report skipping a meal due to stress. With so many people struggling with their eating habits when they feel stressed, we must understand what it is and what we can do about it. What is stress eating? Upon first look, it may not make sense to pair skipping meals with overeating. But the two are connected more than you think. Stress eating, also referred to as emotional eating, is a pattern of eating as a coping mechanism to make you feel better, often in stressful situations. When people use food to suppress negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, stress, or fatigue, it can be considered stress-eating. How does skipping meals fit in? When you experience stress, the body has a surge of adrenaline that triggers the fight-or-flight response. This hormonal response can [...]

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