Christian Marriage Counseling

The life process of “two becoming one” and practically living out marital vows are often not as glamorous as the long-anticipated wedding day. On day one, the beauty of celebration unfolds; and we witness two distinct individuals vow to endure the best and worst of times and circumstances with one another.

What we don’t see at the altar is the collision of family bloodlines in a hope-filled endeavor to coagulate experiences, perspectives, and values. It may seem more of a clash at times, as the two who initiated the journey are very different from the two who are changed by it. This is when Christian marriage counseling can be beneficial.

At Frisco Christian Counseling, faith-centered marriage counseling engages couples in work with a therapist to reflect Christ’s love covenant with His Church in their marriage. While each practitioner at Frisco Christian Counseling differs in approach and specialty, marital counseling often involves combined talk therapy and psychoeducation (teaching), paired with interactive in-session exercises and at-home activities.

The multi-pronged approach serves the couple by:

• Fostering communication
• Tracing, exposing, and upending cycles of sin and dysfunction
• Facilitating forgiveness
• Establishing healthier behaviors and habits
• Generating networks for accountability support
• Enhancing emotional and physical intimacy
• Growing in the character of Christ, both individually and as a married couple

Christian marriage counseling in Frisco is good for every season of marriage, whether newlywed or married for decades. Couples can use it not only in times of crisis, but for regular maintenance.

The path “down the aisle” to “happily ever after” fodders fairy tales and dramatic plots, but God knew that His intention for marriage and its actual expression would vary when He established the covenant with Adam and Eve. Marriage is formed and forged through connection and challenge, ideally over a lifetime. This prompts us to question what happens when the vows to remain “until death do us part” stretch and strain against the realities of sin and separation, division, and divorce.

Cue the need for Christian marriage counseling. Each decision, disagreement, and reconciliation presents an opportunity for a couple, whether cognizant or subconsciously, to continue becoming one or to gradually withdraw, with or without the other partner’s knowledge. Strong or fledgling marriages don’t materialize without our influence. Many successes are fueled in the enduring moment-by-moment commitment to becoming one.

On the other hand, marital strain is also rooted in moment-by-moment micro-decisions. It simmers like a crockpot when we don’t address what remains on the back burner, kindled by fear of “stirring the pot.” When we don’t regularly maintain the heart of the marriage, we compound the effects of neglect, seizing the engine of mutual connection and halting momentum. This may be an alarm, pointing couples toward therapy to salvage marriages before trouble boils over onto those involved.

A Path Forward

First, we must acknowledge that no matter how sweet or strife-filled our marriage may be, it is only God who can save or sustain it, because He makes all things possible. He is the core of the triplicate cord that restores and reinforces weak areas, making marriages resilient and resplendent with His glory.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NASB2020

We must return to our Father and Creator, who ideated marriage as the incubator for the origins of humanity and family life. Viable, Christ-centered marriages thrive in the face of the world’s foreboding, the flesh’s enticements, and sin’s flagrancies. If that’s what we want, we must seek the Wonderful Counselor and His wise counsel.

Despite tribulation, God sources all we need in this life. That includes the provision of qualified and compassionate professionals to help couples access the promise of marriage’s original blueprint. Inspired and led by the Holy Spirit, they utilize creative counseling approaches to champion husbands and wives in reconciling and restoring wholeness in marriage.

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 11:14 ESV

In order to align in the process of “becoming one,” as scripture describes, we must embrace Jesus’ perfect example and the Holy Spirit’s leadership when praying and discerning which Christian marriage counselor in Frisco will best fit.

While you may have never anticipated a need for therapy, you are not alone. Many couples have traversed similar paths, and experienced individual and marital gains. Such encouragement may provoke you to dream again and prayerfully ponder what you really desire for and from:

• yourself
• your mate
• God
• your marriage counseling experience.

Be open

Your marriage therapist in Frisco will ask questions to engage you and to familiarize themselves with your story. It may feel awkward, especially if your needs are rooted in topics often considered taboo. However, your authenticity will better equip all involved to pinpoint, cooperatively resolve root issues, and facilitate enduring change.

Be willing

Look again. Observing your loved one with fresh eyes may engender compassion and empathy where familiarity has caused you to dismiss or diminish legitimate needs and desires.

Be attentive

Note your spouse’s body language, what he or she is saying with gestures, facial expressions, and posture. Furthermore, listen to verbal cues, working with your therapist to monitor, manage, and mature your style of sending and receiving messages.

Be receptive

There may be areas that the Holy Spirit wants to highlight for repentance and change. Though it may be difficult, embrace His conviction and course correction to fortify your covenant with Him and your spouse.

Like a fruitful garden, marriage requires ongoing cultivation. The wellness of a thriving garden is found in caretakers who regularly seed, uproot, and prune with intention and attention.

Seed

• Be aware of the season you are in, and plant and invest accordingly in your marriage covenant. Talk with the Lord and your spouse, noticing where the Holy Spirit highlights what and where you need to sow into your mate.
  • Utilize therapeutic sessions with a marriage counselor in Frisco to support the practice of new ways of interacting.
  • Welcome your spouse to express him or herself without judgment or criticism, listening for the voice of God in their heart’s burdens.
  • Recognize that your spouse’s pain will point to areas where you can come together, with the Holy Spirit, to nourish and deepen your roots, thereby strengthening what you have.

Uproot

• Remove weeds that may be choking your connection.
  • Work through your family history to recognize and disrupt cycles of dysfunction.
  • Disrupt unhealthy mindsets and habitual practices that sabotage the vitality of your marriage.
  • Realize that what has or has not worked for family members or previous relationships does not have to be your story.
  • Allow for creativity and innovation to launch fresh starts.

Prune

• Free yourselves to shift time, energy, and attention to other areas of your marriage that you want to grow.
  • Commit in prayer and accountable support with your spouse and therapist to reroute existing commitments in order to refocus and prioritize.
  • Encourage fruitfulness by pivoting your full attention from problems to deliberately pursuing recreation and following shared interests.
  • Decide to delight in the process of befriending and discovering one another again.
  • Permit yourself to embrace the joy that this journey brings.
  • Rivet on God’s goodness, even when the marriage and the therapeutic experience demands more than what you expected.

While you may never be the same bride or groom you were on the first day you made vows, you can rekindle the joy and restore your marriage to better than it was at its best. Of course, there will be work involved, but there are also wins at each marker in your journey.

At Frisco Christian Counseling, we invite you to contact us to schedule an appointment to meet your needs. We want to cheer and champion you and your spouse in beginning anew in your own, real-life version of “happily ever after.”