Kate Motaung, Author at Frisco Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Steering Away from Materialism Toward Meaningful Minimalism

Steering Away from Materialism Toward Meaningful Minimalism

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:13:34+00:00February 26th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

When is enough, enough? It could be said that we have an insatiable appetite for more in just about every area of our lives. We desire to break existing records and go faster, further, longer, or bigger. We desire to see more, be more, do more, have more. There’s a proverb that says, “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are human eyes” (Proverbs 27:20, NIV). That thirst for more drives us to innovate and invent creative solutions to existing problems. It allows us to understand God’s creation, including ourselves, better. However, the flip side is that our desire for more can lead us to try to satisfy it inappropriately, like trying to satisfy our thirst with foul water or our hunger with spoiled food. One of the ways we try to satisfy our deep thirst and hunger for more is through materialism. Materialism Materialism is when we prioritize owning or possessing things as a high or the highest value. It is measuring your self-worth by external markers such as your bank account, the luxury items you own, or whether you satisfy societal beauty standards. You are validated and worthwhile to the extent that you possess certain objects and material possessions, and this is often at the expense of other qualities. Materialism can be subtle, showing up in small ways such as feeling as if you don’t belong somewhere because you aren’t dressed as well as the other people around you. Or it could be the thought that if only you possessed this or that item, you’d be happy and fulfilled. Materialism can also be full-blown, overtaking your life and becoming the focus of your energies and sense of self. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you explore these patterns and realign your values with what truly matters. How Materialism Can [...]

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Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:10:10+00:00January 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The healthiest relationships draw out the best in people. They are based on qualities such as mutual respect, honesty, willingness to compromise, and vulnerability. Without these, it’s hard to form the bonds that give the depth and connectedness needed to make relationships meaningful. These qualities are what create emotional availability in a person for the sake of their relationships. Where these are lacking, it can make a person emotionally unavailable. If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, the relationship can feel stagnant, surface-deep, and frustrating. It’s helpful to know the signs of emotional unavailability to make any needed adjustments in the relationship and how you relate to each other. Frisco Christian Counseling can support you in recognizing these signs and navigating the changes needed for a healthier connection. Defining Emotional Unavailability A relationship functions best when it is a two-way street. Healthy relationships contain a good dose of give and take between the parties. While it’s never exactly fifty-fifty, the people in the relationship support each other and show up for each other in meaningful ways. They are aware of and take steps to care for each other’s needs. Likewise, they can share what they are feeling with one another. An emotionally unavailable person will struggle with these elements of a relationship. They routinely won’t show up for their partner, and struggle to reciprocate by being aware of, prioritizing, valuing, or respecting the needs of their partner. They may come across as cold or detached, though that’s not always the case. Being emotionally unavailable is rooted in childhood or life experiences. If a person is going through a tough season or issue like depression, or if they are pouring their focus into helping a loved one who’s struggling, or whose energy is being consumed by furthering [...]

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Turn the World Upside Down: Developing Undefeatable Confidence

Turn the World Upside Down: Developing Undefeatable Confidence

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:01:14+00:00December 26th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

What kills the fulfillment of a dream like low confidence? Without a healthy belief, anchored not just in God, but also in ourselves, we may find ourselves frustrated. This can come from the dream killers that launch assaults against our destiny and the details associated with daily life. Watching the world go on as others are living their perceived “best lives” is hard. It can make us feel permanently suspended between having a desire and being on our way to fulfilling what appears to be God’s impossible dream. Others, however, don’t have to dismay us. Instead, they can inspire and encourage. As we see what others are doing, we can be reminded that we aren’t the first to encounter this quandary. Challenges masquerade as obstacles. In reality, they are often essential to remain consistent in faith. They help us learn and grow as we catapult into the next place of purpose. Confidence matters because it is the marker of how we see the person within. Viewing ourselves through a distorted or negative lens impacts how we perceive our abilities. Looking in the mirror of God’s Word will equip us with the standard of His infallibility. In creating us, He made no mistakes or errors. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you rediscover this truth and build a healthier self-image rooted in God’s design. Though we are not perfect, we are yet formed in His Image. We have traits and talents that He enjoys and designed on purpose. He wants to teach us how to employ and deploy with Him, to extend His Kingdom. Awaken It may seem challenging to consider how to boost our confidence and elevate our sense of self-worth, but we don’t have to look far. Often, our childhoods tell a story that nods toward our future desires [...]

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Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T06:31:31+00:00October 17th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

We are deeply relational and social creatures, which means that we are at our best when we are in healthy relationships with others. It’s truly said that no person is an island. We’re all caught up in a web of relationships in which we rely on others and others rely on us. The difficulty comes when that healthy reliance and dependence becomes something else. Codependency is one way to have an unhealthy reliance on others, and recovering from codependency can be complicated. Signs of a codependent relationship The term “codependency” describes a situation where a person’s sense of self isn’t well developed, and they rely too much on others for their identity. A codependent person defines themselves by the likes and acceptance of others. This means that they don’t have a stable sense of self rooted in something deeper than their present circumstances. Codependency happens for many different reasons, including dysfunctional family dynamics, social or cultural expectations, attachment issues, or unresolved childhood trauma. There are a few common signs that indicate codependency, and these include the following that you can look out for in your life: Having difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries Codependent people struggle to say “No” or to set limits with others. This inability to set limits, coupled with often prioritizing the needs of others, will lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. A counselor from Frisco Christian Counseling can help you work through these challenges and develop healthier boundaries. Excessive reliance on others If your emotions rely excessively on others, that could be a sign of codependency. This might look like having a strong need for constant validation, reassurance, or emotional support from others, often at the expense of your own emotional well-being. Loss of personal identity If you feel like you have [...]

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Exercise and Mental Health: Benefits of Self-Care

Exercise and Mental Health: Benefits of Self-Care

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T05:59:50+00:00August 5th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

There’s a kind of rush and sense of euphoria that comes from getting your body moving. You could be dancing, running, roller-skating, doing parkour, cycling, lifting weights, or playing a game of pickleball, but when you get moving, it feels good. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14, ESV), and our bodies, minds, and emotions work together in connected and often complicated ways, meaning that mental health is important. Mental health and you When you’re not doing alright in one area of your life, that can have an impact on other areas. If your mental health suffers, for instance, that affects your ability to work, play, and have meaningful interactions with others. According to the World Health Organization, mental wellness is about being able to cope with the stresses of life, realize your abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute meaningfully to your community. Good mental health allows you to build relationships with others, and make decisions that affect your environment. Many issues can affect a person, and these include factors that aren’t in their control, like genetics, experiences of trauma, or the environment that one is in. There are different ways a person’s mental health can be affected, and the effects can range from mild to severe. There’s a lot of public education that’s still needed regarding mental health, and a good deal of that can be directed at building awareness that mental health issues are common, and there’s no shame in seeking help. Depending on the issue, sometimes taking simple self-help measures will set things right, but in other cases, the intervention of a mental health professional from Frisco Christian Counseling and treatment that includes medication may be required. Some signs of poor mental health When a person is affected negatively by one thing or [...]

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Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T05:53:25+00:00July 1st, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

As we get older, most of us become more independent of our parents. That might look like going out of state for college or work, entering a serious relationship, and moving across the country or another. It might mean getting a job to provide for yourself, and it may also mean making choices such as taking up our parents’ faith as our own and believing it for ourselves. Whatever growing up may look like for you, most parents are pleased when their child takes their steps into the world and begins managing life on their own. One unfortunate reality that parents and their children often deal with is that their relationship doesn’t survive the distance or the conflicts that arise throughout the years. This makes it even more important to know how to have good relationships with your parents over the long haul. Frisco Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance in navigating these important family dynamics. Why parent-child relationships matter Parents play a significant role in how their child grows and develops as a person. Our parents teach us our values and cultivate self-acceptance, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. Our parents are part of our earliest and likely most influential memories, and it’s from them that children learn wisdom, get comfort, and guidance, learn coping skills, and communication skills, and get practical help. When we get older, our parents are a reservoir and pass on family traditions, cultural heritage, and stories about our family that can’t be Googled or found elsewhere. Parents also provide emotional support for children of any age, and as a child gets older they can also support their parents. While one’s relationship with their parents changes over time, they can continue to be a source of wisdom and valuable life experiences. Honoring your father and [...]

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Hit the Target: Overcoming Insecurity in the Goal Setting and Personal Development Journey

Hit the Target: Overcoming Insecurity in the Goal Setting and Personal Development Journey

Kate Motaung2025-04-17T15:52:36+00:00June 5th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Seeing little to no significant change can be frustrating and demoralizing when we reflect upon goals we’ve set but haven’t seen come to fruition. Despite efforts, we can find ourselves discouraged by the gap between what we envisioned with God in one season and our current state, which can produce insecurity and hinder our personal development. Frisco Christian Counseling can be a valuable resource in navigating these seasons, providing guidance and support rooted in faith. Sometimes, we look to nearby distractions such as social media, which floods thoughts and timelines with messages about what we don’t have. In response, we shift focus onto lack instead of the abundance of Who is with us. Sometimes we connect more with the lies and inconsistencies in our reels and feeds than we do with Jesus’ unchanging nature (Hebrews 13:8). We are often more convinced about our inadequacy than in the abundant and all-encompassing God. We believe in the lie of not being, doing, or having enough. Whether trait or talent, we limit our view of who we are and what we are capable of. We misplace hope, pining for things to fill the blanks lodged in our souls. Instead of fostering inspiration to meet our goals and grow in personal development, an insecure and incomplete view of self breeds discontent, discord, and discouragement. Conquering discontentment There will be times when discontent creeps in and attempts to settle within. We can stem the tide, diverting the waves of ingratitude that erode steadfastness and joy. Giving thanks, even along our personal development journey softens our hearts. It makes us ready to respond to the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and ideas that aid us in building what the Father wants to be established on earth. A grateful heart helps us to remain teachable and humble enough [...]

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7 Tips for Building Self-esteem

7 Tips for Building Self-esteem

Kate Motaung2025-04-17T07:42:44+00:00May 30th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development, Trauma|

Multi-billion-dollar industries have been built around the topic of how to get a good self-image or self-esteem and for good reason. How we think about ourselves has a huge impact on the type of life we live including the opportunities we pursue, the quality of the relationships we have, and our overall mental well-being. Individuals with healthy self-esteem tend to enjoy better interactions with people and are less knocked by challenges life throws at them. Those with poor self-esteem struggle and are more likely to develop depression or anxiety or use self-destructive behaviors to try and regulate their underlying feelings. Frisco Christian Counseling offers support for individuals working to build healthier self-esteem and emotional resilience. Building self-esteem is also popular because, as people living in a fallen world, we tend to feel broken in some way. This is either a result of childhood trauma, imposed on us, unpleasant experiences during our growing up years (being on the receiving end of bullying at school, for instance), or simply because, on this side of heaven, we will always sense that we are not quite whole. We often try to do everything we can to feel right. Improvement and progress in this area are important. It is liberating, however, to realize that everyone experiences some sort of challenge in this area. The foundational truth which lies at the heart of building self-esteem is a deep understanding of the biblical doctrine of creation. Every person is infinitely valuable because God made them, and we were made in His own image (Genesis 1:27). In ways we can not fully explain, we are like God and can therefore enjoy a relationship with Him. More than that, He has made you with a special purpose in mind, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus [...]

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Childhood Emotional Neglect: Examples, Signs, and Treatment

Childhood Emotional Neglect: Examples, Signs, and Treatment

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:07:51+00:00March 28th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

In the Bible’s view, children are a gift and one of the ways the Lord shows His favor to people. One Psalm says, Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate – Psalm 127:3-5, NASB These precious gifts come to us vulnerable and in need of nurture. It’s the responsibility of a parent or caregiver to provide a safe environment that allows that child to flourish and meet their full potential. The unfortunate reality, however, is that not every parent or caregiver has the intention, capacity, resources, or skills to meet the needs of a child successfully. Childhood emotional neglect is a concern that affects many children when they are young, and its impact lasts into their adulthood. Defining childhood emotional neglect The picture that might be conjured when you hear the word ‘neglect’ in connection with children could be a dark one. You might picture neglect as starving or isolating a child from contact with other people by locking them up in a basement. Such actions, because they are intentionally disregarding the needs and well-being of a child, would be better classified as childhood emotional abuse. ‘Neglect’ primarily names the way a parent or caregiver fails to notice or act upon a child’s expressed needs. Examples of childhood emotional neglect A parent who meets the physical needs of a child can be emotionally neglectful if they don’t meet the emotional needs of that child. Some of the examples of childhood emotional neglect include: Brushing off a child’s feelings as unimportant or exaggerated. Not listening when a child expresses [...]

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Could You Benefit From Couples Therapy?

Could You Benefit From Couples Therapy?

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:07:59+00:00September 20th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Every relationship has its points of stress, those areas that tend to generate friction and conflict between the couple. Even the happiest couples that have been together for a long time will have fights. Whether you are happy, or you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship, couples therapy just might be what you need. What is couples therapy? Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy directed at couples, whether married or in a long-term relationship. Through a variety of techniques, your therapist will get to know you both. In your sessions together, you’ll unpack whatever is happening in your relationship, and your therapist will provide you with the space you need to explore your thoughts and feelings about where you are in your relationship. Couples therapy is aimed at helping couples develop a deeper appreciation of their relationship, cultivating better communication to reduce conflict, and teaching the couple skills that will help their relationship flourish. These skills may include problem-solving, goal-setting, conflict resolution, nurturing intimacy and trust, and better communication. Some of the issues and concerns that couples therapy will address include the following: Constant conflict. Poor communication. Lack of intimacy in the relationship and growing apart from each other. Grief and loss, including the loss of a child through miscarriage, or an inability to conceive. Mental health concerns for one or both of you, including anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder. Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in and around your relationship. Loss of trust due to emotional or sexual infidelity . Financial concerns, including job loss. Amicably handling differences in your faith commitments or political outlook. Goal setting. Divorce . Resentment or anger toward one another. Anger issues. Issues of abuse such as emotional abuse and domestic violence. Substance abuse and addiction. Major life adjustments, such as [...]

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Kate Motaung

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