Kate Motaung, Author at Frisco Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Seasons Change: Navigating Boundaries and Life Transitions

Seasons Change: Navigating Boundaries and Life Transitions

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:04+00:00April 29th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues|

As much as the beginnings of relationships are important, it is essential to recognize the value of endings. Embracing conclusion makes room for our relationships to flex with the Father’s purposes that flourish in new seasons and in burgeoning relationships. When we allow ourselves to process boundaries and transitions and exit one period of our lives, we are better equipped to enter the next. Although adapting to newness presents its own challenges, accepting the end imparts the grace needed to trust God, regardless of who or what flows with us from one season to the next. The abiding Presence of the Holy Spirit strengthens and sustains us through turbulence associated with transition and change. Reconfiguring boundaries and traversing transition feels awkward and uncomfortable. We may not know how to shift boundaries as seasons change in our lives, but we cling to the promise of Jesus to be with us always. Relational changes involve creative conversations, first with the Lord in addition to communing with our hearts before we share with others. The Holy Spirit will illuminate our path with the Word of God, giving insight and instruction on what to say and when. He is the brilliance of the Father, the relationship genius who knows every human heart and how to navigate it. We can rely on Him to guide us through uncertain times, so that we honor God, ourselves, and others as our lives and relationships undergo transition. Here, Jesus expertly makes all things new, and causes them, including seasons of transformation, to work together for good and ultimately His glory (Revelation 21:4; Romans 8:28). Metamorphosis affords the grace to embrace imperfection in the secret place while being perfected by the Spirit of Christ. Through Jesus’ finished work, we learn to extend what we have received to evolve, [...]

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Humanity’s Common Denominator: Navigating Suffering and Loss

Humanity’s Common Denominator: Navigating Suffering and Loss

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:13+00:00April 25th, 2023|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

People everywhere grapple with suffering and loss, whether or not they have a relationship with God. Whether they ponder it as an abstract concept that affects those on the other side of the globe or become intimately acquainted with it in their personal experience, they all experience a measure of soul pain. The questions surrounding the evils of the world can cause people to turn toward or away from God. Suffering will dangle a question mark over our thoughts, puzzling us about the why, who, how, and the how long. In whatever context we encounter it, suffering can vex and challenge us concerning God’s intention for the earth and humanity. The suffering we observe and encounter in life finds its roots in Genesis 3. The first humans gave in to the enemy’s temptation, undermining the image of God. Adam and Eve bit the serpent’s bait. A momentary decision elicited a world of consequences that they didn’t anticipate. The result was the corruption of all of the human race and its history by sin. The Scriptures reveal that God had a plan to redeem and restore all that had been lost and forfeited in the Garden. It eventually culminated in Jesus, the Son of God who paid the price for the sins of His people – past, present, and future – to bring them back to the Father. That same Savior predestined us, His followers, to do good works, filling us with His Spirit to accomplish them. The Comforter has equipped us to extend the kingdom of God. With the Holy Spirit’s leadership and guidance, we have the privilege to serve God, to the end that the Father’s will be fully done on earth, even as it is in Heaven. Suffering and Loss: Making Sense of the Senseless Whether or [...]

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Story and Song: Reframing the Narrative of Trauma and Shame

Story and Song: Reframing the Narrative of Trauma and Shame

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:22+00:00April 25th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

The Bible, in all of its sixty-six books, is one cohesive story. When we pan its view, we see that narrative unfold in pieces. Where each of the smaller, individual stories intersect, Scripture’s song releases bits of reflection. In totality, the image impressed within our mind’s eye is the story of Jesus. In Him, we follow the Heart of a Father, Friend, Faithful confidant, and more. Existing eternally, yet presiding over time, He is the one who simultaneously was, is, and is yet to come. In wisdom and creativity, He blends the rough edges of our shame stories into the pages of Scripture’s existing arc. He grafts us in, enhancing its drama and depth with the personal highs and lows imposed by trauma and pain. Without the parts of our past and present that we consider despicable and shameful, its view would be incomplete. For, it is in mercy that the Love of the Father, the Glory of the Son, and the Brilliance of His Spirit spins the yarn of a tapestry that is only complete when woven with His, ours, and those that preceded us (Heb. 11:40). Looking through this lens offers us an opportunity to take heaven’s view. The writer of Hebrews describes “a great cloud of witnesses,” who faced some of the same sordid challenges we encounter (Heb. 12:1). Although our Sunday School lessons or children’s Bible narratives may have glossed over the imperfections, adult eyes re-reading the Bible often capture another story in the scroll. Take King David, for example, who emerged from a family where he was scorned by his brothers and dismissed by his father. That didn’t deter God from anointing him to be king of Israel, in his youth, long before he engaged in a laundry list of wounds and offenses. Wrestling, [...]

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Proactive Ways to Deal with Stress

Proactive Ways to Deal with Stress

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:29+00:00January 13th, 2023|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

You know what it feels like when you do not or cannot manage stress properly. And it is blatantly obvious when others let stress influence them. Not being able to deal with conflict constructively, not listening properly, battling to solve problems, struggling to stay positive – and that is just at home. At work, illness and time off drop your productivity even lower than the reduced performance stress was causing you to achieve. In this article we'll discuss some proactive ways to deal with stress. It is far better to find proactive ways to deal with stress by paying attention to two factors that can make a big difference: how the environment you are in causes stress, and how you manage that stress. Everyone’s environment creates stress points for them; tackling them means you look at coping mechanisms and management techniques aimed at reducing these stress points. The other side of the same coin is to look at strategies that will help put you in a stronger, more agile frame of mind. This is a more comfortable place to be where our heart rates and blood pressure are not elevated and where we feel confident. How to understand stress. Now, before we dive in deeper it is important to define stress: Stress is our experience of being confronted with a stressful situation – also known as stressors. This will look like an unpredictable piece of bad news, a work deadline, or an upcoming bill payment. These stressors are factors that cause us to experience stress. The expectation your spouse has of you to remember your wedding anniversary and celebrate it in a way that shows you considered them when you planned it, maybe a stressor that is interpreted as stress. Stress is experienced when we see upcoming threats or [...]

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How to Quit Smoking: 6 Steps to Permanent Smoking Cessation

How to Quit Smoking: 6 Steps to Permanent Smoking Cessation

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:38+00:00January 11th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Cigarettes have integrated themselves into many long-term smokers’ daily lives. But almost everyone who smokes eventually wishes they hadn’t and feels highly motivated to act. However, figuring out how to quit smoking frequently falls short of desire in the end. When there is activity, it frequently is ill-planned and fleeting. Even though many people desire change, they struggle to implement and maintain the change. Because of the difficulty of learning how to quit smoking, this can be very frustrating. What is cigarette cessation? The act of quitting smoking is referred to as smoking cessation. Successfully stopping smoking can be both a common and challenging goal because it can be both addictive and destructive to one’s physical health. Some techniques are supported by science to improve your odds of successfully quitting smoking, even if smoking cessation may be challenging to sustain. 6 Tips to Help You Stop Smoking Thirty-four million American adults, or 13.7% of all adults, currently smoke cigarettes, and sixteen million people in the country suffer from a smoking-related illness. Smoking is the number one avoidable cause of illness and death in the US. Each year, more than 480,000 Americans pass away from smoking-related illnesses like heart disease and lung cancer, and more than 41,000 of these fatalities are attributable to secondhand smoke exposure. The following techniques can help one successfully quit. 1. Set smart goals. The best methods for stopping smoking entail deliberate thought and action. What do you wish to accomplish? Never again, starting right now? smoking down steadily with time? You might be able to discern your intents and coordinate your efforts if you make your goals clear to yourself. The following inquiry is one that I believe is essential for achievement. Do you want to give up? Be truthful to yourself. If you gave [...]

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When to Consider Child Therapy

When to Consider Child Therapy

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:48+00:00December 22nd, 2022|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

It can be difficult to know when to ask your child to go to therapy, but some signs may point to the need for qualified assistance. Learn more about child therapy, how it functions, and when you might want to give it some thought. How does child therapy work and what is it? A particular focus of child therapy is on your child’s healthy development in the emotional, physical, behavioral, and cognitive domains. Counselors for children can assist children with a wide range of problems, including trauma, anxiety, depression, behavioral issues, and social skill deficiencies. To assist children, child counselors employ a range of strategies, including play therapy, art therapy, and talk therapy. Play therapy, which can be either directive or nondirective, uses play to help children more effectively express their emotions. A specific objective guides the structure of directive play therapy. The therapist actively participates in choosing the playthings and activities. For instance, they offer the child a puppet to start a conversation with them about their current circumstances. The child chooses the toys and materials they want to use in non-directive play therapy. The child guides the play session with little guidance from the therapist, who provides a supportive, nonjudgmental environment. Children who may have trouble expressing their feelings verbally can use art therapy to do so. A variety of artistic techniques, such as painting, sculpture, collage-making, and drawing, may be used by an art therapist. Talk therapy entails discussing feelings and experiences with a therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are two of the most widely used forms of talk therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy CBT is a popular form of talk therapy that aids kids in developing the ability to control their emotions and behavior. CBT [...]

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Are You Ready for Marriage? Tips for Discernment

Are You Ready for Marriage? Tips for Discernment

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:09:55+00:00December 8th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Deciding if you are ready for marriage requires some thought and assessment. To be able to provide an answer, you must first have a solid understanding of who you are. As you think about this, here are some things to consider. Ready for Marriage? Aspects to Consider Relationships Think about the relationships you have currently. These do not need to be romantic relationships. How do you behave toward your mother, father, and siblings? Do you frequently find yourself losing your cool with them, perhaps resorting to using rude or sarcastic language to get your point across? In light of that, what kind of remarks would they make about you? How you interact with members of your family is predictive of how you will behave toward a potential mate. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. – Ephesians 4:31, NIV Attitude and behavior Your attitude and the way you behave can be indicators of your readiness. Are you positive or pessimistic? Do you ever consider other people’s perspectives, or do you always insist on doing things in a particular way – your way? Are you able to maintain your composure in difficult situations? Are you patient? You can better prepare yourself to be a husband or wife in the future by cultivating the fruit of God’s spirit in your life. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23, NIV Money and finances Considering how you approach money and finances in your life is important. Surveys report that almost half of couples argue about money, so having a clear understanding of your ideas on the subject now can foster a healthier marriage [...]

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How to Stop Stress Eating

How to Stop Stress Eating

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:10:04+00:00November 24th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

You had a stressful day at work. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. You’re finally home when you see an email. You ignore it only to be met with another problem at home. You feel the tension rising and you instinctively reach for that bag of chips in the cabinet. Crunching away, you finally start to feel better after stress-eating to your way to the bottom of the bag. Maybe you respond differently. You spent the day at the hospital with a loved one only to come home exhausted and frustrated from the day. You know you should eat something, but you just can’t muster it, so you skip dinner completely. What is happening? How are both of these scenarios linked? It could be stress eating. There is no shortage of stress, especially in recent years. People are finding all sorts of ways to cope. According to the American Psychological Association, twenty-seven percent of adults say they eat to manage stress while thirty percent of adults report skipping a meal due to stress. With so many people struggling with their eating habits when they feel stressed, we must understand what it is and what we can do about it. What is stress eating? Upon first look, it may not make sense to pair skipping meals with overeating. But the two are connected more than you think. Stress eating, also referred to as emotional eating, is a pattern of eating as a coping mechanism to make you feel better, often in stressful situations. When people use food to suppress negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, stress, or fatigue, it can be considered stress-eating. How does skipping meals fit in? When you experience stress, the body has a surge of adrenaline that triggers the fight-or-flight response. This hormonal response can [...]

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How to Control Your Anger (and Why It Matters)

How to Control Your Anger (and Why It Matters)

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:10:10+00:00August 8th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Have people asked you to control your anger? Does it feel like anger is controlling you? You can learn how to control your anger with God’s help and the assistance of a Christian counselor. The Deep Roots of Anger Many of us never learned how to control our anger in healthy ways. You may have grown up in a home where people exploded with anger. Perhaps your parents handled anger by sweeping it under the rug and never discussing it. Maybe your family let anger leak out slowly through passive aggression. None of these methods of anger management are healthy, but they are all too common. To get control over your anger, it’s important to deal with its deep roots. You have learned how to handle it through decades of conditioning in ways you may not even realize. But by learning to recognize the roots of your anger, you can dig them up and let them no longer influence your thoughts and actions. A qualified Christian counselor can help you learn new methods of thinking and behaving when you feel angry. Your counselor will offer a neutral, objective perspective to help you discover the roots of your anger and change your reactions. Why Controlling Your Anger Matters It’s likely you already know the price your anger exacts on your relationships. Whether you explode, seethe, or sulk when angry, you have probably noticed distance in your relationships when you act that way. You may be seeking help because your anger has caused strain or severe damage to relationships. However, when you learn to control your anger, you have hope for repairing your damaged relationships. Anger doesn’t only cost other people something. It costs you a bundle too. Anger exacts a toll on your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Physically, [...]

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What We Can Learn About Forgiveness in the Bible

What We Can Learn About Forgiveness in the Bible

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T12:10:16+00:00July 25th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. It makes a way for us to live as one with God, it provides a way for person-to-person relationships to be restored, and it develops spiritual maturity as we learn to live from a position of forgiveness. As we explore forgiveness in the Bible, we discover explore God’s forgiveness, Jesus’ ministry of forgiveness, and the practical application of forgiveness. Forgiveness releases a person from guilt and its consequences. It is an act of compassion to restore broken relationships. Forgiveness can involve both the remission of punishment and the cancellation of debts. To forgive is to refuse to blame and take an account of offenses. To be forgiven is to be exempt from personal consequences for an offense. When we experience forgiveness, our mistakes are no longer considered or held against us. God’s Forgiveness in the Bible But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments. They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. – Nehemiah 9:16-17, ESV The Israelites had a reputation for a back-and-forth relationship with God. They had numerous experiences of rescue and refusal. They refused to follow God, which led them to sin and captivity. Then God would hear their cry and rescue them because of his kind nature. He was ready to forgive because that is His nature. We can rely on His readiness to forgive us too. Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon [...]

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Kate Motaung

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