Kate Motaung

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So far Kate Motaung has created 20 blog entries.

Story and Song: Reframing the Narrative of Trauma and Shame

By |2024-09-25T09:40:09+00:00April 25th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

The Bible, in all of its sixty-six books, is one cohesive story. When we pan its view, we see that narrative unfold in pieces. Where each of the smaller, individual stories intersect, Scripture’s song releases bits of reflection. In totality, the image impressed within our mind’s eye is the story of Jesus. In Him, we follow the Heart of a Father, Friend, Faithful confidant, and more. Existing eternally, yet presiding over time, He is the one who simultaneously was, is, and is yet to come. In wisdom and creativity, He blends the rough edges of our shame stories into the pages of Scripture’s existing arc. He grafts us in, enhancing its drama and depth with the personal highs and lows imposed by trauma and pain. Without the parts of our past and present that we consider despicable and shameful, its view would be incomplete. For, it is in mercy that the Love of the Father, the Glory of the Son, and the Brilliance of His Spirit spins the yarn of a tapestry that is only complete when woven with His, ours, and those that preceded us (Heb. 11:40). Looking through this lens offers us an opportunity to take heaven’s view. The writer of Hebrews describes “a great cloud of witnesses,” who faced some of the same sordid challenges we encounter (Heb. 12:1). Although our Sunday School lessons or children’s Bible narratives may have glossed over the imperfections, adult eyes re-reading the Bible often capture another story in the scroll. Take King David, for example, who emerged from a family where he was scorned by his brothers and dismissed by his father. That didn’t deter God from anointing him to be king of Israel, in his youth, long before he engaged in a laundry list of wounds and offenses. Wrestling, [...]

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How to Quit Smoking: 6 Steps to Permanent Smoking Cessation

By |2024-09-25T09:41:03+00:00January 11th, 2023|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Cigarettes have integrated themselves into many long-term smokers’ daily lives. But almost everyone who smokes eventually wishes they hadn’t and feels highly motivated to act. However, figuring out how to quit smoking frequently falls short of desire in the end. When there is activity, it frequently is ill-planned and fleeting. Even though many people desire change, they struggle to implement and maintain the change. Because of the difficulty of learning how to quit smoking, this can be very frustrating. What is cigarette cessation? The act of quitting smoking is referred to as smoking cessation. Successfully stopping smoking can be both a common and challenging goal because it can be both addictive and destructive to one’s physical health. Some techniques are supported by science to improve your odds of successfully quitting smoking, even if smoking cessation may be challenging to sustain. 6 Tips to Help You Stop Smoking Thirty-four million American adults, or 13.7% of all adults, currently smoke cigarettes, and sixteen million people in the country suffer from a smoking-related illness. Smoking is the number one avoidable cause of illness and death in the US. Each year, more than 480,000 Americans pass away from smoking-related illnesses like heart disease and lung cancer, and more than 41,000 of these fatalities are attributable to secondhand smoke exposure. The following techniques can help one successfully quit. 1. Set smart goals. The best methods for stopping smoking entail deliberate thought and action. What do you wish to accomplish? Never again, starting right now? smoking down steadily with time? You might be able to discern your intents and coordinate your efforts if you make your goals clear to yourself. The following inquiry is one that I believe is essential for achievement. Do you want to give up? Be truthful to yourself. If you gave [...]

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When to Consider Child Therapy

By |2024-09-25T09:39:53+00:00December 22nd, 2022|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

It can be difficult to know when to ask your child to go to therapy, but some signs may point to the need for qualified assistance. Learn more about child therapy, how it functions, and when you might want to give it some thought. How does child therapy work and what is it? A particular focus of child therapy is on your child’s healthy development in the emotional, physical, behavioral, and cognitive domains. Counselors for children can assist children with a wide range of problems, including trauma, anxiety, depression, behavioral issues, and social skill deficiencies. To assist children, child counselors employ a range of strategies, including play therapy, art therapy, and talk therapy. Play therapy, which can be either directive or nondirective, uses play to help children more effectively express their emotions. A specific objective guides the structure of directive play therapy. The therapist actively participates in choosing the playthings and activities. For instance, they offer the child a puppet to start a conversation with them about their current circumstances. The child chooses the toys and materials they want to use in non-directive play therapy. The child guides the play session with little guidance from the therapist, who provides a supportive, nonjudgmental environment. Children who may have trouble expressing their feelings verbally can use art therapy to do so. A variety of artistic techniques, such as painting, sculpture, collage-making, and drawing, may be used by an art therapist. Talk therapy entails discussing feelings and experiences with a therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) are two of the most widely used forms of talk therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy CBT is a popular form of talk therapy that aids kids in developing the ability to control their emotions and behavior. CBT [...]

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Are You Ready for Marriage? Tips for Discernment

By |2024-09-25T09:39:46+00:00December 8th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Deciding if you are ready for marriage requires some thought and assessment. To be able to provide an answer, you must first have a solid understanding of who you are. As you think about this, here are some things to consider. Ready for Marriage? Aspects to Consider Relationships Think about the relationships you have currently. These do not need to be romantic relationships. How do you behave toward your mother, father, and siblings? Do you frequently find yourself losing your cool with them, perhaps resorting to using rude or sarcastic language to get your point across? In light of that, what kind of remarks would they make about you? How you interact with members of your family is predictive of how you will behave toward a potential mate. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. – Ephesians 4:31, NIV Attitude and behavior Your attitude and the way you behave can be indicators of your readiness. Are you positive or pessimistic? Do you ever consider other people’s perspectives, or do you always insist on doing things in a particular way – your way? Are you able to maintain your composure in difficult situations? Are you patient? You can better prepare yourself to be a husband or wife in the future by cultivating the fruit of God’s spirit in your life. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23, NIV Money and finances Considering how you approach money and finances in your life is important. Surveys report that almost half of couples argue about money, so having a clear understanding of your ideas on the subject now can foster a healthier marriage [...]

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How to Stop Stress Eating

By |2024-09-25T09:40:42+00:00November 24th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

You had a stressful day at work. Nothing went the way it was supposed to. You’re finally home when you see an email. You ignore it only to be met with another problem at home. You feel the tension rising and you instinctively reach for that bag of chips in the cabinet. Crunching away, you finally start to feel better after stress-eating to your way to the bottom of the bag. Maybe you respond differently. You spent the day at the hospital with a loved one only to come home exhausted and frustrated from the day. You know you should eat something, but you just can’t muster it, so you skip dinner completely. What is happening? How are both of these scenarios linked? It could be stress eating. There is no shortage of stress, especially in recent years. People are finding all sorts of ways to cope. According to the American Psychological Association, twenty-seven percent of adults say they eat to manage stress while thirty percent of adults report skipping a meal due to stress. With so many people struggling with their eating habits when they feel stressed, we must understand what it is and what we can do about it. What is stress eating? Upon first look, it may not make sense to pair skipping meals with overeating. But the two are connected more than you think. Stress eating, also referred to as emotional eating, is a pattern of eating as a coping mechanism to make you feel better, often in stressful situations. When people use food to suppress negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, stress, or fatigue, it can be considered stress-eating. How does skipping meals fit in? When you experience stress, the body has a surge of adrenaline that triggers the fight-or-flight response. This hormonal response can [...]

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How to Control Your Anger (and Why It Matters)

By |2024-09-25T09:40:52+00:00August 8th, 2022|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Have people asked you to control your anger? Does it feel like anger is controlling you? You can learn how to control your anger with God’s help and the assistance of a Christian counselor. The Deep Roots of Anger Many of us never learned how to control our anger in healthy ways. You may have grown up in a home where people exploded with anger. Perhaps your parents handled anger by sweeping it under the rug and never discussing it. Maybe your family let anger leak out slowly through passive aggression. None of these methods of anger management are healthy, but they are all too common. To get control over your anger, it’s important to deal with its deep roots. You have learned how to handle it through decades of conditioning in ways you may not even realize. But by learning to recognize the roots of your anger, you can dig them up and let them no longer influence your thoughts and actions. A qualified Christian counselor can help you learn new methods of thinking and behaving when you feel angry. Your counselor will offer a neutral, objective perspective to help you discover the roots of your anger and change your reactions. Why Controlling Your Anger Matters It’s likely you already know the price your anger exacts on your relationships. Whether you explode, seethe, or sulk when angry, you have probably noticed distance in your relationships when you act that way. You may be seeking help because your anger has caused strain or severe damage to relationships. However, when you learn to control your anger, you have hope for repairing your damaged relationships. Anger doesn’t only cost other people something. It costs you a bundle too. Anger exacts a toll on your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Physically, [...]

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What We Can Learn About Forgiveness in the Bible

By |2024-09-25T09:41:35+00:00July 25th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. It makes a way for us to live as one with God, it provides a way for person-to-person relationships to be restored, and it develops spiritual maturity as we learn to live from a position of forgiveness. As we explore forgiveness in the Bible, we discover explore God’s forgiveness, Jesus’ ministry of forgiveness, and the practical application of forgiveness. Forgiveness releases a person from guilt and its consequences. It is an act of compassion to restore broken relationships. Forgiveness can involve both the remission of punishment and the cancellation of debts. To forgive is to refuse to blame and take an account of offenses. To be forgiven is to be exempt from personal consequences for an offense. When we experience forgiveness, our mistakes are no longer considered or held against us. God’s Forgiveness in the Bible But they and our fathers acted presumptuously and stiffened their neck and did not obey your commandments. They refused to obey and were not mindful of the wonders that you performed among them, but they stiffened their neck and appointed a leader to return to their slavery in Egypt. But you are a God ready to forgive, gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and did not forsake them. – Nehemiah 9:16-17, ESV The Israelites had a reputation for a back-and-forth relationship with God. They had numerous experiences of rescue and refusal. They refused to follow God, which led them to sin and captivity. Then God would hear their cry and rescue them because of his kind nature. He was ready to forgive because that is His nature. We can rely on His readiness to forgive us too. Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon [...]

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The Best Bible Verses About Marriage

By |2024-09-25T09:39:09+00:00July 13th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

When you need encouragement in your marriage, these are the best Bible verses about marriage for you to consider. You can study them and meditate on them for guidance and practical help. Meditate on these Bible verses about marriage when you are seeking God’s will about your marriage. Bible Verses About Marriage Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18 God instituted marriage before sin entered the world. It is his beautiful plan to have husbands and wives relieve loneliness for each other and be helpers for one another. This is still his plan for your marriage as well. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:23-24 When you are married, God considers you to be of one flesh. Everything that affects the husband affects the wife, and vice versa. To keep the unity of one flesh, you cannot allow other things to take priority, including your original families. If in-laws are creating problems in your marriage, you can find help from these Bible verses about marriage or even a Christian counselor. And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:37-39 Jesus established a system of priorities for us. We are to put God [...]

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How to Work on a Strained Relationship

By |2024-09-25T09:40:31+00:00June 27th, 2022|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

If you have a strained relationship, your heart aches all the time. It's challenging to have a relationship with someone who doesn't reciprocate with you or possibly makes life more difficult for you. The good news is that a caring Christian counselor can help you navigate a strained relationship in your life. Why Do We Have a Strained Relationship? Strained relationships can come from different sources. Perhaps you had a relationship that was close at one point and misunderstandings put a strain on the relationship. On the other hand, you may have a relationship that never got off on the right foot and is now in a worse place than when you started. Relationships can also become strained if they carry a heavy load of criticism and defensiveness over time, or if the relationships are not maintained well by growth and support. These strained relationships can exist at home, in an extended family, at work, in friendships, and even in community groups or churches. They cause a lot of discomfort, usually for both people involved in the relationship, and even for people surrounding that relationship. Strained relationships sometimes happen because the other person is almost entirely at fault. Sometimes they occur because we have blind spots, and we don't recognize our contributions to the problems. However, even if the reason for the strain is only one percent your fault, you can start working on that part with the help of a trained counselor. Even though you may not be able to completely change the strain in the relationship, you can start building up your strength to handle it. Examples You may see a mirror of the strain in your relationship in one or more of these scenarios. Due to constant conflict, a dad is at odds with his teenage [...]

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Bible Verses for Building Self-Esteem

By |2024-09-25T09:41:24+00:00June 17th, 2022|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Do you need help building self-esteem? These Bible verses are ideal for helping you choose a positive outlook even when you aren’t sure about the esteem you have for yourself. You can meditate on them to gain the peace and confidence you are seeking. Any time you need help building self-esteem, you can turn to these verses. Write them out and post them where you can see them often. Then turn them into prayers that will encourage your faith. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20, ESV This is great news! As a believer, you no longer live by your own power. Jesus lives in you through the power of the Holy Spirit. He guides you and empowers you to live a life of abundant joy because he loves you so much. When you focus on God’s love for you, it can change everything regarding how you feel about yourself. Meditate on all parts of this verse, thinking about the ways it can lift you up when you feel down. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. – Psalm 139:14, ESV This entire psalm is one of the best places to turn in the Bible when you need to build your self-esteem. It teaches you that God masterfully created you before you were ever born and loves every single detail about the way that he made you You are a unique and beautiful creation handcrafted by him for his glory, and no one can take that identity away from you. By hiding [...]

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