Children’s Mental Health: Five Toxic Phrases NOT to Say to Your Kids
Most parents strive to be loving, supportive, and caring to their children. They read self-help and parenting books to learn how to be the best parents they can be. They painstakingly curate friendships to help their kids thrive and run to the rescue whenever someone says something offensive to them. They may even rehearse pep talks and thoughtfully craft sentimental birthday card messages. And yet, even the most well-intentioned parents fall short of their own parenting ideals sometimes. In stressful moments, you might not take the time to consider your words. You might repeat phrases you heard growing up that seem to work in specific situations. Other times you might not be mindful of your words at all. Some clichés and rote statements seem to be inherited as they have been used and reused by parents for generations. And they can creep out of your mouth without much forethought. They might sound harmless, even motivating, but these common, seemingly benign comments can negatively impact children’s mental health and shape how your children view themselves and their place in the family. Why can’t you be more like ____? How does the old saying go: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” If you’re a parent and you don’t think your child is quite living up to their potential or is making questionable choices, you might be tempted to use peer pressure to motivate them into better choices. You point out the good things you see in others their age as a means of motivation. To you, you’re showing them a good example of proper behavior. To them, you’re favoring someone else over them. While you might think that you’re motivating your child, you are likely pushing them into envy more than corrective action. What children hear instead of a motivation speech [...]
