What Codependence Feels Like
Codependence can be crippling to friendships and relationships, but what is it, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? It’s not always apparent. People might spend years in a codependent relationship without either party realizing it. Rather than explain what codependence is, it might be more helpful to describe what codependence feels like. The Problem with Codependence Codependence is a dynamic in a relationship where two people have become entirely reliant on each other in a practical, emotional, and psychological way. It often takes the form of one member being a constant “victim” while the other person becomes a “rescuer.” This dynamic can feel safe and even wholesome at times, but it fosters complex trauma and prevents both people from finding independence and freedom. The imbalanced dynamic also means that one person becomes indebted to the other in complicated ways. For example, the rescuer in codependent dynamics is often narcissistic, dictating how the victim should behave. The victim is often a people-pleaser and eager to bend over backward for the sake of the rescuer. Each instance of codependence is unique, and it can be complicated to understand and confront. What Codependence Feels Like The first step in healing from codependence is recognizing it. People in codependent relationships might not know what codependence is, but they might begin to feel unwell or concerned about the relationship. Some people understand themselves the best through their feelings, and so this is what codependency often feels like. Needing constant validation or affirmation Even though you might have been in the relationship for a long time, you never feel fully secure in it. You are constantly worried that you might somehow cause the end of the relationship. Walking on eggshells The insecurity and anxiety you feel over the relationship causes you [...]
