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Talking Hearts: Improving Communication With Others

Talking Hearts: Improving Communication With Others

Kate Motaung2025-05-29T08:58:09+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Communication is a vital and undeniable part of managing and growing relationships. Whether we talk with words or gestures, the practice of expression and absorbing messages is built into every human exchange. We convey and receive, exchanging the sentiments that would otherwise remain buried. Though essential, communication can get convoluted when we don’t know how to engage with one another from a place of love. Speaking God’s truth, yet in love, is an important place to begin as we consider the nature of our talking hearts. Words Into Worlds Though we have freedom in Christ, we do not have a license to say whatever we please, whether we are intimately connected with them or not. We may not always recognize the power of words. Words hold the potential to speak worlds into being. God demonstrated this at Creation when the Spirit hovered above the murky deep. Instead of exclaiming and giving credence to the darkness, God exercised words of life to speak light into being, setting in motion a pattern for the world we now know. All of creation followed, unfolding and flourishing at the command of the Almighty. He created us in a similar fashion, first taking counsel with Himself to contemplate making humankind. Likewise, Adam, formed in God’s Image and by God’s own Hand, followed the Father’s example, naming the animals as part of his garden stewardship. Curiously, Adam did not exercise the power of his words to arrest the serpent who deceived him and his wife into accepting the forbidden fruit. Whether we speak or avoid declaring God’s words, we have the choice to release or suppress the power God intended for us to shift with words. Consider Christ, Our Communication Guide Thankfully, Jesus, who is often referred to as the Second Adam, didn’t just verbalize, [...]

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Identifying Parental Codependency

Identifying Parental Codependency

Cyndi Kay Green2025-04-26T05:57:33+00:00April 28th, 2025|Codependency, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Early childhood attachment issues typically lead to a person becoming a parent who has an intense need for a child to keep them in their life even after they are an adult. This is known as parental codependency, and it can be exhausting for the child as well as the parent. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:4, ESV Why does a parent become codependent? Most parents who become codependent have experienced a childhood filled with dysfunction. They have been exposed to an environment with high expectations and severe discipline when those expectations were not met. The causes of parental codependency can arise from the following factors: Past trauma There are cases where codependent parents have trauma that has not been resolved. They may carry emotional wounds from childhood that cause them to seek acceptance from their child constantly. Lack of boundaries The presence of healthy boundaries is foundational for everyone. A parent with codependency issues finds it challenging to have clearly defined boundaries. Low self-esteem Codependency frequently stems from low self-esteem. Parents who have experienced low self-esteem as children tend to need the approval of their children to feel validated. Fear of being abandoned A major factor in codependency is the fear of abandonment. As a child becomes more independent, the parent may feel like they are being forgotten or left alone. Role perception The normal expectations of parents in society can create extra pressure for a codependent parent. A parent who has been taught that they are the source of support and identity for their child, will often struggle with defining themselves in their child’s achievements. How to Recognize Parental Codependency Understanding parental codependency is vital to recognizing the symptoms. The symptoms may seem [...]

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ADHD and the Myth of Laziness

ADHD and the Myth of Laziness

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-18T07:21:20+00:00April 3rd, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Does this scenario sound familiar? Maybe it’s 6 pm and you’re still in your pajamas, you’ve been wanting to tackle that stack of dishes all day, but yet, they remain on your counter, unwashed and crusted over. Or maybe you’ve known that you really should fold that mountain of laundry, but you just don’t move? This may indicate ADHD. Oh, the agony and angst of a homework assignment with a hard deadline. And what about those plans you made last week, because, it seemed so far away at the time, that now loom over you? But yet you sit there. Staring at your phone, scrolling through cat videos. Contentment and hyperfocus soon give way to the gnawing guilt. It whispers “You’re lazy” in your ear. And maybe other people in your life confirm that sentiment. If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), this struggle is all too familiar. But here’s the truth, and it’s good news: you are not lazy, despite what you may think and may have been told by a parent, spouse, boss, or teacher. Laziness is often the label someone gets when it appears that they are procrastinating or not putting in the appropriate amount of effort to accomplish that thing they need to do. But ADHD is not a problem with willpower, though that is what is popularly believed. And though it is not a battle with laziness, ADHD behavior can be deceptive and look like laziness to those around you. Why? Because ADHD causes your brain to access motivation differently, giving the appearance of laziness to those whose brains work differently. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you or your loved one better understand and manage ADHD with compassion and effective strategies. Why does ADHD look like laziness? Several characteristic behaviors in people with [...]

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What Codependence Feels Like

What Codependence Feels Like

Wade Van Staden2025-04-18T07:17:47+00:00March 13th, 2025|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependence can be crippling to friendships and relationships, but what is it, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? It’s not always apparent. People might spend years in a codependent relationship without either party realizing it. Rather than explain what codependence is, it might be more helpful to describe what codependence feels like. The Problem with Codependence Codependence is a dynamic in a relationship where two people have become entirely reliant on each other in a practical, emotional, and psychological way. It often takes the form of one member being a constant “victim” while the other person becomes a “rescuer.” This dynamic can feel safe and even wholesome at times, but it fosters complex trauma and prevents both people from finding independence and freedom. The imbalanced dynamic also means that one person becomes indebted to the other in complicated ways. For example, the rescuer in codependent dynamics is often narcissistic, dictating how the victim should behave. The victim is often a people-pleaser and eager to bend over backward for the sake of the rescuer. Each instance of codependence is unique, and it can be complicated to understand and confront. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you navigate these dynamics and work toward healthier relationships. What Codependence Feels Like The first step in healing from codependence is recognizing it. People in codependent relationships might not know what codependence is, but they might begin to feel unwell or concerned about the relationship. Some people understand themselves the best through their feelings, and so this is what codependency often feels like. Needing constant validation or affirmation Even though you might have been in the relationship for a long time, you never feel fully secure in it. You are constantly worried that you might somehow cause the end of the relationship. [...]

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Steering Away from Materialism Toward Meaningful Minimalism

Steering Away from Materialism Toward Meaningful Minimalism

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:13:34+00:00February 26th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

When is enough, enough? It could be said that we have an insatiable appetite for more in just about every area of our lives. We desire to break existing records and go faster, further, longer, or bigger. We desire to see more, be more, do more, have more. There’s a proverb that says, “Death and Destruction are never satisfied, and neither are human eyes” (Proverbs 27:20, NIV). That thirst for more drives us to innovate and invent creative solutions to existing problems. It allows us to understand God’s creation, including ourselves, better. However, the flip side is that our desire for more can lead us to try to satisfy it inappropriately, like trying to satisfy our thirst with foul water or our hunger with spoiled food. One of the ways we try to satisfy our deep thirst and hunger for more is through materialism. Materialism Materialism is when we prioritize owning or possessing things as a high or the highest value. It is measuring your self-worth by external markers such as your bank account, the luxury items you own, or whether you satisfy societal beauty standards. You are validated and worthwhile to the extent that you possess certain objects and material possessions, and this is often at the expense of other qualities. Materialism can be subtle, showing up in small ways such as feeling as if you don’t belong somewhere because you aren’t dressed as well as the other people around you. Or it could be the thought that if only you possessed this or that item, you’d be happy and fulfilled. Materialism can also be full-blown, overtaking your life and becoming the focus of your energies and sense of self. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you explore these patterns and realign your values with what truly matters. How Materialism Can [...]

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Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:10:10+00:00January 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The healthiest relationships draw out the best in people. They are based on qualities such as mutual respect, honesty, willingness to compromise, and vulnerability. Without these, it’s hard to form the bonds that give the depth and connectedness needed to make relationships meaningful. These qualities are what create emotional availability in a person for the sake of their relationships. Where these are lacking, it can make a person emotionally unavailable. If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, the relationship can feel stagnant, surface-deep, and frustrating. It’s helpful to know the signs of emotional unavailability to make any needed adjustments in the relationship and how you relate to each other. Frisco Christian Counseling can support you in recognizing these signs and navigating the changes needed for a healthier connection. Defining Emotional Unavailability A relationship functions best when it is a two-way street. Healthy relationships contain a good dose of give and take between the parties. While it’s never exactly fifty-fifty, the people in the relationship support each other and show up for each other in meaningful ways. They are aware of and take steps to care for each other’s needs. Likewise, they can share what they are feeling with one another. An emotionally unavailable person will struggle with these elements of a relationship. They routinely won’t show up for their partner, and struggle to reciprocate by being aware of, prioritizing, valuing, or respecting the needs of their partner. They may come across as cold or detached, though that’s not always the case. Being emotionally unavailable is rooted in childhood or life experiences. If a person is going through a tough season or issue like depression, or if they are pouring their focus into helping a loved one who’s struggling, or whose energy is being consumed by furthering [...]

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Turn the World Upside Down: Developing Undefeatable Confidence

Turn the World Upside Down: Developing Undefeatable Confidence

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:01:14+00:00December 26th, 2024|Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

What kills the fulfillment of a dream like low confidence? Without a healthy belief, anchored not just in God, but also in ourselves, we may find ourselves frustrated. This can come from the dream killers that launch assaults against our destiny and the details associated with daily life. Watching the world go on as others are living their perceived “best lives” is hard. It can make us feel permanently suspended between having a desire and being on our way to fulfilling what appears to be God’s impossible dream. Others, however, don’t have to dismay us. Instead, they can inspire and encourage. As we see what others are doing, we can be reminded that we aren’t the first to encounter this quandary. Challenges masquerade as obstacles. In reality, they are often essential to remain consistent in faith. They help us learn and grow as we catapult into the next place of purpose. Confidence matters because it is the marker of how we see the person within. Viewing ourselves through a distorted or negative lens impacts how we perceive our abilities. Looking in the mirror of God’s Word will equip us with the standard of His infallibility. In creating us, He made no mistakes or errors. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you rediscover this truth and build a healthier self-image rooted in God’s design. Though we are not perfect, we are yet formed in His Image. We have traits and talents that He enjoys and designed on purpose. He wants to teach us how to employ and deploy with Him, to extend His Kingdom. Awaken It may seem challenging to consider how to boost our confidence and elevate our sense of self-worth, but we don’t have to look far. Often, our childhoods tell a story that nods toward our future desires [...]

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Coping Skills for Anger in Women

Coping Skills for Anger in Women

Caitlin Mallery2025-04-18T06:53:30+00:00November 21st, 2024|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

In a society that dismisses anger in men as usual and anger in women as undesirable, it can be challenging to assume there are any healthy coping skills for anger other than suppression. However, anger, like other emotions, is a symptom of a problem. Anger floods the body with hormones that can make it challenging to find the source of the problem. By developing healthy coping skills for anger with support from Frisco Christian Counseling, you can identify solutions that go a long way in preventing anger from happening in the first place. Anger in Women: Start with Self-Awareness Self-awareness is challenging in the heat of anger, but noticing your anger will be the quickest way to resolve it. Take a moment to take some slow, deep breaths, slow your heart rate, and get some oxygen to your brain before you become overwhelmed physically and mentally by anger. Focus on Facts Anger can start with one thing and spiral to many other things. When you are angry, it is important to focus on objective facts. It can be difficult to bring facts to an emotional fight, but it’s better for you to do it yourself rather than have others point it out to you. If you can write out the facts of the situation that triggered your anger, you might be able to find solutions. Sometimes, you are angry because of your environment. If you are too hot, or too cold, if your clothes are uncomfortable or the music is too loud, you might feel anger starting to rise. Are you tired? It might be time to take a break. Are you hungry? Get a snack (ideally some fruit or protein). Do you know what stage of your cycle you are in? The ebb and flow of hormones does [...]

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Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T06:31:31+00:00October 17th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

We are deeply relational and social creatures, which means that we are at our best when we are in healthy relationships with others. It’s truly said that no person is an island. We’re all caught up in a web of relationships in which we rely on others and others rely on us. The difficulty comes when that healthy reliance and dependence becomes something else. Codependency is one way to have an unhealthy reliance on others, and recovering from codependency can be complicated. Signs of a codependent relationship The term “codependency” describes a situation where a person’s sense of self isn’t well developed, and they rely too much on others for their identity. A codependent person defines themselves by the likes and acceptance of others. This means that they don’t have a stable sense of self rooted in something deeper than their present circumstances. Codependency happens for many different reasons, including dysfunctional family dynamics, social or cultural expectations, attachment issues, or unresolved childhood trauma. There are a few common signs that indicate codependency, and these include the following that you can look out for in your life: Having difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries Codependent people struggle to say “No” or to set limits with others. This inability to set limits, coupled with often prioritizing the needs of others, will lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. A counselor from Frisco Christian Counseling can help you work through these challenges and develop healthier boundaries. Excessive reliance on others If your emotions rely excessively on others, that could be a sign of codependency. This might look like having a strong need for constant validation, reassurance, or emotional support from others, often at the expense of your own emotional well-being. Loss of personal identity If you feel like you have [...]

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3 key coping mechanisms for stress

3 key coping mechanisms for stress

Jennifer Kooshian2025-04-18T06:18:46+00:00September 30th, 2024|Anger Issues, Anxiety, Depression, Featured, Personal Development, Psychological Testing|

What is stress? We encounter many situations in life where we feel under pressure or under threat. Those situations can be as varied as having a lot of work to do and working under tight deadlines, experiencing relational distress such as when there’s conflict in your family, going through a divorce or separation, experiencing a serious illness, being bullied, going through job loss or financial difficulty, or the loss of a loved one. Sometimes, even what we would typically consider positive life changes and events, such as going for a vacation, finding and moving into a bigger house, getting married, or getting a promotion at work can be significant sources of stress. When we experience these and many other things, we can become stressed. Speaking with a professional at Frisco Christian Counseling can help you navigate these stressors and find healthy ways to cope. One way to understand stress is to see it as how we react when are under pressure or feeling threatened in a situation that seems beyond our ability to manage or control. When you feel stressed, your body produces stress hormones that trigger the ‘fight or flight’ response and activate your immune system to enable you to respond quickly to dangerous or threatening situations. This ‘fight or flight’ response causes respiratory, cardiovascular, and nervous system changes, such as giving you a temporary burst of energy, making you breathe rapidly, making your heart beat faster, or making you sweat and your muscles tense up. The problem emerges when this stress response is triggered frequently and without relief. When that happens, stress can harm your mental health. One important aspect of stress is that we all deal with it in different ways. In fact, what we consider stressful will vary between individuals, as does the ability to [...]

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