Individual Counseling Archives | Frisco Christian Counseling

ADHD and the Myth of Laziness

ADHD and the Myth of Laziness

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-18T07:21:20+00:00April 3rd, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Does this scenario sound familiar? Maybe it’s 6 pm and you’re still in your pajamas, you’ve been wanting to tackle that stack of dishes all day, but yet, they remain on your counter, unwashed and crusted over. Or maybe you’ve known that you really should fold that mountain of laundry, but you just don’t move? This may indicate ADHD. Oh, the agony and angst of a homework assignment with a hard deadline. And what about those plans you made last week, because, it seemed so far away at the time, that now loom over you? But yet you sit there. Staring at your phone, scrolling through cat videos. Contentment and hyperfocus soon give way to the gnawing guilt. It whispers “You’re lazy” in your ear. And maybe other people in your life confirm that sentiment. If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), this struggle is all too familiar. But here’s the truth, and it’s good news: you are not lazy, despite what you may think and may have been told by a parent, spouse, boss, or teacher. Laziness is often the label someone gets when it appears that they are procrastinating or not putting in the appropriate amount of effort to accomplish that thing they need to do. But ADHD is not a problem with willpower, though that is what is popularly believed. And though it is not a battle with laziness, ADHD behavior can be deceptive and look like laziness to those around you. Why? Because ADHD causes your brain to access motivation differently, giving the appearance of laziness to those whose brains work differently. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you or your loved one better understand and manage ADHD with compassion and effective strategies. Why does ADHD look like laziness? Several characteristic behaviors in people with [...]

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What Codependence Feels Like

What Codependence Feels Like

Wade Van Staden2025-04-18T07:17:47+00:00March 13th, 2025|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependence can be crippling to friendships and relationships, but what is it, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? It’s not always apparent. People might spend years in a codependent relationship without either party realizing it. Rather than explain what codependence is, it might be more helpful to describe what codependence feels like. The Problem with Codependence Codependence is a dynamic in a relationship where two people have become entirely reliant on each other in a practical, emotional, and psychological way. It often takes the form of one member being a constant “victim” while the other person becomes a “rescuer.” This dynamic can feel safe and even wholesome at times, but it fosters complex trauma and prevents both people from finding independence and freedom. The imbalanced dynamic also means that one person becomes indebted to the other in complicated ways. For example, the rescuer in codependent dynamics is often narcissistic, dictating how the victim should behave. The victim is often a people-pleaser and eager to bend over backward for the sake of the rescuer. Each instance of codependence is unique, and it can be complicated to understand and confront. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you navigate these dynamics and work toward healthier relationships. What Codependence Feels Like The first step in healing from codependence is recognizing it. People in codependent relationships might not know what codependence is, but they might begin to feel unwell or concerned about the relationship. Some people understand themselves the best through their feelings, and so this is what codependency often feels like. Needing constant validation or affirmation Even though you might have been in the relationship for a long time, you never feel fully secure in it. You are constantly worried that you might somehow cause the end of the relationship. [...]

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Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:10:10+00:00January 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The healthiest relationships draw out the best in people. They are based on qualities such as mutual respect, honesty, willingness to compromise, and vulnerability. Without these, it’s hard to form the bonds that give the depth and connectedness needed to make relationships meaningful. These qualities are what create emotional availability in a person for the sake of their relationships. Where these are lacking, it can make a person emotionally unavailable. If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, the relationship can feel stagnant, surface-deep, and frustrating. It’s helpful to know the signs of emotional unavailability to make any needed adjustments in the relationship and how you relate to each other. Frisco Christian Counseling can support you in recognizing these signs and navigating the changes needed for a healthier connection. Defining Emotional Unavailability A relationship functions best when it is a two-way street. Healthy relationships contain a good dose of give and take between the parties. While it’s never exactly fifty-fifty, the people in the relationship support each other and show up for each other in meaningful ways. They are aware of and take steps to care for each other’s needs. Likewise, they can share what they are feeling with one another. An emotionally unavailable person will struggle with these elements of a relationship. They routinely won’t show up for their partner, and struggle to reciprocate by being aware of, prioritizing, valuing, or respecting the needs of their partner. They may come across as cold or detached, though that’s not always the case. Being emotionally unavailable is rooted in childhood or life experiences. If a person is going through a tough season or issue like depression, or if they are pouring their focus into helping a loved one who’s struggling, or whose energy is being consumed by furthering [...]

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Coping Skills for Anger in Women

Coping Skills for Anger in Women

Caitlin Mallery2025-04-18T06:53:30+00:00November 21st, 2024|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

In a society that dismisses anger in men as usual and anger in women as undesirable, it can be challenging to assume there are any healthy coping skills for anger other than suppression. However, anger, like other emotions, is a symptom of a problem. Anger floods the body with hormones that can make it challenging to find the source of the problem. By developing healthy coping skills for anger with support from Frisco Christian Counseling, you can identify solutions that go a long way in preventing anger from happening in the first place. Anger in Women: Start with Self-Awareness Self-awareness is challenging in the heat of anger, but noticing your anger will be the quickest way to resolve it. Take a moment to take some slow, deep breaths, slow your heart rate, and get some oxygen to your brain before you become overwhelmed physically and mentally by anger. Focus on Facts Anger can start with one thing and spiral to many other things. When you are angry, it is important to focus on objective facts. It can be difficult to bring facts to an emotional fight, but it’s better for you to do it yourself rather than have others point it out to you. If you can write out the facts of the situation that triggered your anger, you might be able to find solutions. Sometimes, you are angry because of your environment. If you are too hot, or too cold, if your clothes are uncomfortable or the music is too loud, you might feel anger starting to rise. Are you tired? It might be time to take a break. Are you hungry? Get a snack (ideally some fruit or protein). Do you know what stage of your cycle you are in? The ebb and flow of hormones does [...]

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Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T06:31:31+00:00October 17th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

We are deeply relational and social creatures, which means that we are at our best when we are in healthy relationships with others. It’s truly said that no person is an island. We’re all caught up in a web of relationships in which we rely on others and others rely on us. The difficulty comes when that healthy reliance and dependence becomes something else. Codependency is one way to have an unhealthy reliance on others, and recovering from codependency can be complicated. Signs of a codependent relationship The term “codependency” describes a situation where a person’s sense of self isn’t well developed, and they rely too much on others for their identity. A codependent person defines themselves by the likes and acceptance of others. This means that they don’t have a stable sense of self rooted in something deeper than their present circumstances. Codependency happens for many different reasons, including dysfunctional family dynamics, social or cultural expectations, attachment issues, or unresolved childhood trauma. There are a few common signs that indicate codependency, and these include the following that you can look out for in your life: Having difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries Codependent people struggle to say “No” or to set limits with others. This inability to set limits, coupled with often prioritizing the needs of others, will lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. A counselor from Frisco Christian Counseling can help you work through these challenges and develop healthier boundaries. Excessive reliance on others If your emotions rely excessively on others, that could be a sign of codependency. This might look like having a strong need for constant validation, reassurance, or emotional support from others, often at the expense of your own emotional well-being. Loss of personal identity If you feel like you have [...]

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OCD and Anxiety: Practical Strategies for Managing Intrusive Thoughts

OCD and Anxiety: Practical Strategies for Managing Intrusive Thoughts

Stephanie Kramer2025-04-18T06:07:54+00:00August 30th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

Intrusive thoughts, which are common in OCD patients, are involuntary, unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses that can be disturbing and distressing. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by recurring, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts that an individual feels driven to perform. Intrusive thoughts often revolve around themes of harm, violence, or other negative content. It is important to note, that simply having them does not mean that you will act on them or that they are true. These thoughts do not reflect a person’s desire or intention, or what is true about a situation. Instead, they are a common experience in anxiety disorders and OCD patients where the mind fixates on potential threats and catastrophes. Practical Strategies for Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts There are many behavioral-based approaches that therapists use to help those who suffer from intrusive thoughts. A therapist from Frisco Christian Counseling can offer personalized recommendations to their clients based on their unique needs. Here are a few practical strategies that can also help you manage them. Thought stopping This technique involves consciously interrupting the intrusive thought process by mentally shouting “Stop!” or visualizing a stop sign. While this is not a long-term solution, it can provide immediate relief. For people who follow Christ, speaking the name of Jesus whenever an intrusive thought comes to mind is also an effective method. Memorization and meditation Memorize and meditate on the Bible to help combat intrusive thoughts. Write out and try to memorize scriptures that focus on the goodness of God to help retrain your brain to focus on Him rather than your intrusive thoughts. Cognitive defusion This mindfulness-based technique involves distancing oneself from intrusive thoughts by observing them as external events rather than internal truths. For instance, instead of thinking “I am [...]

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Identifying an Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Finding Healing

Identifying an Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Finding Healing

Jennifer Kooshian2025-04-18T06:04:49+00:00August 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

People can do the worst kind of harm to other people. Instead of using the gift of speech to celebrate one another, or to encourage each other, we can tear each other down, lie to each other, or undermine one another (Ephesians 4:29; James 3:1-12). Such harm can occur even in our closest relationships, which makes it all the more painful because we are most vulnerable to the people we love, which is why an emotionally abusive relationship is so devastating. If you’re in a situation where you’re being subjected to emotional abuse, it’s possible for it to feel normal and part of how you relate to one another. This can make it doubly hard to address the issues in the relationship and change patterns of thought and behavior to draw the relationship toward healthy outcomes. If these harmful patterns are identified, with hard and consistent work from both parties, Frisco Christian Counseling can help things turn around. Identifying an emotionally abusive relationship Emotional abuse is a form of behavior that’s aimed at controlling another person by chipping away at their self-confidence, isolating them, shaming them, blaming them, and undermining their self-esteem. It usually takes the form of bullying behaviors and words intended to undermine the value and well-being of another person. It may sound surprising that emotional abuse can be hard to detect. However, emotional abuse can be quite subtle, and the way it affects people can make it hard for them to confidently pinpoint the abuse as it’s happening. When a person suffers emotional abuse, one effect is to undermine their sense of self, their self-worth, as well as their self-esteem, and that can create a psychological dependence on the abuser. Emotional abuse can feel normal, and all the more so if you question your own judgment [...]

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Exercise and Mental Health: Benefits of Self-Care

Exercise and Mental Health: Benefits of Self-Care

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T05:59:50+00:00August 5th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

There’s a kind of rush and sense of euphoria that comes from getting your body moving. You could be dancing, running, roller-skating, doing parkour, cycling, lifting weights, or playing a game of pickleball, but when you get moving, it feels good. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14, ESV), and our bodies, minds, and emotions work together in connected and often complicated ways, meaning that mental health is important. Mental health and you When you’re not doing alright in one area of your life, that can have an impact on other areas. If your mental health suffers, for instance, that affects your ability to work, play, and have meaningful interactions with others. According to the World Health Organization, mental wellness is about being able to cope with the stresses of life, realize your abilities, learn well and work well, and contribute meaningfully to your community. Good mental health allows you to build relationships with others, and make decisions that affect your environment. Many issues can affect a person, and these include factors that aren’t in their control, like genetics, experiences of trauma, or the environment that one is in. There are different ways a person’s mental health can be affected, and the effects can range from mild to severe. There’s a lot of public education that’s still needed regarding mental health, and a good deal of that can be directed at building awareness that mental health issues are common, and there’s no shame in seeking help. Depending on the issue, sometimes taking simple self-help measures will set things right, but in other cases, the intervention of a mental health professional from Frisco Christian Counseling and treatment that includes medication may be required. Some signs of poor mental health When a person is affected negatively by one thing or [...]

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Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T05:53:25+00:00July 1st, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

As we get older, most of us become more independent of our parents. That might look like going out of state for college or work, entering a serious relationship, and moving across the country or another. It might mean getting a job to provide for yourself, and it may also mean making choices such as taking up our parents’ faith as our own and believing it for ourselves. Whatever growing up may look like for you, most parents are pleased when their child takes their steps into the world and begins managing life on their own. One unfortunate reality that parents and their children often deal with is that their relationship doesn’t survive the distance or the conflicts that arise throughout the years. This makes it even more important to know how to have good relationships with your parents over the long haul. Frisco Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance in navigating these important family dynamics. Why parent-child relationships matter Parents play a significant role in how their child grows and develops as a person. Our parents teach us our values and cultivate self-acceptance, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. Our parents are part of our earliest and likely most influential memories, and it’s from them that children learn wisdom, get comfort, and guidance, learn coping skills, and communication skills, and get practical help. When we get older, our parents are a reservoir and pass on family traditions, cultural heritage, and stories about our family that can’t be Googled or found elsewhere. Parents also provide emotional support for children of any age, and as a child gets older they can also support their parents. While one’s relationship with their parents changes over time, they can continue to be a source of wisdom and valuable life experiences. Honoring your father and [...]

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Hit the Target: Overcoming Insecurity in the Goal Setting and Personal Development Journey

Hit the Target: Overcoming Insecurity in the Goal Setting and Personal Development Journey

Kate Motaung2025-04-17T15:52:36+00:00June 5th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Seeing little to no significant change can be frustrating and demoralizing when we reflect upon goals we’ve set but haven’t seen come to fruition. Despite efforts, we can find ourselves discouraged by the gap between what we envisioned with God in one season and our current state, which can produce insecurity and hinder our personal development. Frisco Christian Counseling can be a valuable resource in navigating these seasons, providing guidance and support rooted in faith. Sometimes, we look to nearby distractions such as social media, which floods thoughts and timelines with messages about what we don’t have. In response, we shift focus onto lack instead of the abundance of Who is with us. Sometimes we connect more with the lies and inconsistencies in our reels and feeds than we do with Jesus’ unchanging nature (Hebrews 13:8). We are often more convinced about our inadequacy than in the abundant and all-encompassing God. We believe in the lie of not being, doing, or having enough. Whether trait or talent, we limit our view of who we are and what we are capable of. We misplace hope, pining for things to fill the blanks lodged in our souls. Instead of fostering inspiration to meet our goals and grow in personal development, an insecure and incomplete view of self breeds discontent, discord, and discouragement. Conquering discontentment There will be times when discontent creeps in and attempts to settle within. We can stem the tide, diverting the waves of ingratitude that erode steadfastness and joy. Giving thanks, even along our personal development journey softens our hearts. It makes us ready to respond to the Holy Spirit’s wisdom and ideas that aid us in building what the Father wants to be established on earth. A grateful heart helps us to remain teachable and humble enough [...]

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