Relationship Issues Archives | Frisco Christian Counseling

Talking Hearts: Improving Communication With Others

Talking Hearts: Improving Communication With Others

Kate Motaung2025-05-29T08:58:09+00:00May 29th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Communication is a vital and undeniable part of managing and growing relationships. Whether we talk with words or gestures, the practice of expression and absorbing messages is built into every human exchange. We convey and receive, exchanging the sentiments that would otherwise remain buried. Though essential, communication can get convoluted when we don’t know how to engage with one another from a place of love. Speaking God’s truth, yet in love, is an important place to begin as we consider the nature of our talking hearts. Words Into Worlds Though we have freedom in Christ, we do not have a license to say whatever we please, whether we are intimately connected with them or not. We may not always recognize the power of words. Words hold the potential to speak worlds into being. God demonstrated this at Creation when the Spirit hovered above the murky deep. Instead of exclaiming and giving credence to the darkness, God exercised words of life to speak light into being, setting in motion a pattern for the world we now know. All of creation followed, unfolding and flourishing at the command of the Almighty. He created us in a similar fashion, first taking counsel with Himself to contemplate making humankind. Likewise, Adam, formed in God’s Image and by God’s own Hand, followed the Father’s example, naming the animals as part of his garden stewardship. Curiously, Adam did not exercise the power of his words to arrest the serpent who deceived him and his wife into accepting the forbidden fruit. Whether we speak or avoid declaring God’s words, we have the choice to release or suppress the power God intended for us to shift with words. Consider Christ, Our Communication Guide Thankfully, Jesus, who is often referred to as the Second Adam, didn’t just verbalize, [...]

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Identifying Parental Codependency

Identifying Parental Codependency

Cyndi Kay Green2025-04-26T05:57:33+00:00April 28th, 2025|Codependency, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Early childhood attachment issues typically lead to a person becoming a parent who has an intense need for a child to keep them in their life even after they are an adult. This is known as parental codependency, and it can be exhausting for the child as well as the parent. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. – Philippians 2:4, ESV Why does a parent become codependent? Most parents who become codependent have experienced a childhood filled with dysfunction. They have been exposed to an environment with high expectations and severe discipline when those expectations were not met. The causes of parental codependency can arise from the following factors: Past trauma There are cases where codependent parents have trauma that has not been resolved. They may carry emotional wounds from childhood that cause them to seek acceptance from their child constantly. Lack of boundaries The presence of healthy boundaries is foundational for everyone. A parent with codependency issues finds it challenging to have clearly defined boundaries. Low self-esteem Codependency frequently stems from low self-esteem. Parents who have experienced low self-esteem as children tend to need the approval of their children to feel validated. Fear of being abandoned A major factor in codependency is the fear of abandonment. As a child becomes more independent, the parent may feel like they are being forgotten or left alone. Role perception The normal expectations of parents in society can create extra pressure for a codependent parent. A parent who has been taught that they are the source of support and identity for their child, will often struggle with defining themselves in their child’s achievements. How to Recognize Parental Codependency Understanding parental codependency is vital to recognizing the symptoms. The symptoms may seem [...]

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What Codependence Feels Like

What Codependence Feels Like

Wade Van Staden2025-04-18T07:17:47+00:00March 13th, 2025|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependence can be crippling to friendships and relationships, but what is it, and how do you know if you are experiencing it? It’s not always apparent. People might spend years in a codependent relationship without either party realizing it. Rather than explain what codependence is, it might be more helpful to describe what codependence feels like. The Problem with Codependence Codependence is a dynamic in a relationship where two people have become entirely reliant on each other in a practical, emotional, and psychological way. It often takes the form of one member being a constant “victim” while the other person becomes a “rescuer.” This dynamic can feel safe and even wholesome at times, but it fosters complex trauma and prevents both people from finding independence and freedom. The imbalanced dynamic also means that one person becomes indebted to the other in complicated ways. For example, the rescuer in codependent dynamics is often narcissistic, dictating how the victim should behave. The victim is often a people-pleaser and eager to bend over backward for the sake of the rescuer. Each instance of codependence is unique, and it can be complicated to understand and confront. Frisco Christian Counseling can help you navigate these dynamics and work toward healthier relationships. What Codependence Feels Like The first step in healing from codependence is recognizing it. People in codependent relationships might not know what codependence is, but they might begin to feel unwell or concerned about the relationship. Some people understand themselves the best through their feelings, and so this is what codependency often feels like. Needing constant validation or affirmation Even though you might have been in the relationship for a long time, you never feel fully secure in it. You are constantly worried that you might somehow cause the end of the relationship. [...]

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Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Signs of an Emotionally Unavailable Partner

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T07:10:10+00:00January 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The healthiest relationships draw out the best in people. They are based on qualities such as mutual respect, honesty, willingness to compromise, and vulnerability. Without these, it’s hard to form the bonds that give the depth and connectedness needed to make relationships meaningful. These qualities are what create emotional availability in a person for the sake of their relationships. Where these are lacking, it can make a person emotionally unavailable. If you’re in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, the relationship can feel stagnant, surface-deep, and frustrating. It’s helpful to know the signs of emotional unavailability to make any needed adjustments in the relationship and how you relate to each other. Frisco Christian Counseling can support you in recognizing these signs and navigating the changes needed for a healthier connection. Defining Emotional Unavailability A relationship functions best when it is a two-way street. Healthy relationships contain a good dose of give and take between the parties. While it’s never exactly fifty-fifty, the people in the relationship support each other and show up for each other in meaningful ways. They are aware of and take steps to care for each other’s needs. Likewise, they can share what they are feeling with one another. An emotionally unavailable person will struggle with these elements of a relationship. They routinely won’t show up for their partner, and struggle to reciprocate by being aware of, prioritizing, valuing, or respecting the needs of their partner. They may come across as cold or detached, though that’s not always the case. Being emotionally unavailable is rooted in childhood or life experiences. If a person is going through a tough season or issue like depression, or if they are pouring their focus into helping a loved one who’s struggling, or whose energy is being consumed by furthering [...]

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Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Helpful Tips for Recovering From Codependency

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T06:31:31+00:00October 17th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

We are deeply relational and social creatures, which means that we are at our best when we are in healthy relationships with others. It’s truly said that no person is an island. We’re all caught up in a web of relationships in which we rely on others and others rely on us. The difficulty comes when that healthy reliance and dependence becomes something else. Codependency is one way to have an unhealthy reliance on others, and recovering from codependency can be complicated. Signs of a codependent relationship The term “codependency” describes a situation where a person’s sense of self isn’t well developed, and they rely too much on others for their identity. A codependent person defines themselves by the likes and acceptance of others. This means that they don’t have a stable sense of self rooted in something deeper than their present circumstances. Codependency happens for many different reasons, including dysfunctional family dynamics, social or cultural expectations, attachment issues, or unresolved childhood trauma. There are a few common signs that indicate codependency, and these include the following that you can look out for in your life: Having difficulty setting and maintaining healthy boundaries Codependent people struggle to say “No” or to set limits with others. This inability to set limits, coupled with often prioritizing the needs of others, will lead to feelings of resentment, burnout, or emotional exhaustion. A counselor from Frisco Christian Counseling can help you work through these challenges and develop healthier boundaries. Excessive reliance on others If your emotions rely excessively on others, that could be a sign of codependency. This might look like having a strong need for constant validation, reassurance, or emotional support from others, often at the expense of your own emotional well-being. Loss of personal identity If you feel like you have [...]

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Identifying an Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Finding Healing

Identifying an Emotionally Abusive Relationship and Finding Healing

Jennifer Kooshian2025-04-18T06:04:49+00:00August 14th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

People can do the worst kind of harm to other people. Instead of using the gift of speech to celebrate one another, or to encourage each other, we can tear each other down, lie to each other, or undermine one another (Ephesians 4:29; James 3:1-12). Such harm can occur even in our closest relationships, which makes it all the more painful because we are most vulnerable to the people we love, which is why an emotionally abusive relationship is so devastating. If you’re in a situation where you’re being subjected to emotional abuse, it’s possible for it to feel normal and part of how you relate to one another. This can make it doubly hard to address the issues in the relationship and change patterns of thought and behavior to draw the relationship toward healthy outcomes. If these harmful patterns are identified, with hard and consistent work from both parties, Frisco Christian Counseling can help things turn around. Identifying an emotionally abusive relationship Emotional abuse is a form of behavior that’s aimed at controlling another person by chipping away at their self-confidence, isolating them, shaming them, blaming them, and undermining their self-esteem. It usually takes the form of bullying behaviors and words intended to undermine the value and well-being of another person. It may sound surprising that emotional abuse can be hard to detect. However, emotional abuse can be quite subtle, and the way it affects people can make it hard for them to confidently pinpoint the abuse as it’s happening. When a person suffers emotional abuse, one effect is to undermine their sense of self, their self-worth, as well as their self-esteem, and that can create a psychological dependence on the abuser. Emotional abuse can feel normal, and all the more so if you question your own judgment [...]

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Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Advice for Men: Maintaining a Good Relationship With Your Parents

Kate Motaung2025-04-18T05:53:25+00:00July 1st, 2024|Coaching, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

As we get older, most of us become more independent of our parents. That might look like going out of state for college or work, entering a serious relationship, and moving across the country or another. It might mean getting a job to provide for yourself, and it may also mean making choices such as taking up our parents’ faith as our own and believing it for ourselves. Whatever growing up may look like for you, most parents are pleased when their child takes their steps into the world and begins managing life on their own. One unfortunate reality that parents and their children often deal with is that their relationship doesn’t survive the distance or the conflicts that arise throughout the years. This makes it even more important to know how to have good relationships with your parents over the long haul. Frisco Christian Counseling can provide support and guidance in navigating these important family dynamics. Why parent-child relationships matter Parents play a significant role in how their child grows and develops as a person. Our parents teach us our values and cultivate self-acceptance, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence. Our parents are part of our earliest and likely most influential memories, and it’s from them that children learn wisdom, get comfort, and guidance, learn coping skills, and communication skills, and get practical help. When we get older, our parents are a reservoir and pass on family traditions, cultural heritage, and stories about our family that can’t be Googled or found elsewhere. Parents also provide emotional support for children of any age, and as a child gets older they can also support their parents. While one’s relationship with their parents changes over time, they can continue to be a source of wisdom and valuable life experiences. Honoring your father and [...]

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Help for Dating After Divorce

Help for Dating After Divorce

Jennifer Kooshian2025-05-21T06:36:15+00:00April 10th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

One of the things we learn early in life is how to press on when things go sideways and don’t work out as expected. These lessons are learned as we first learn how to walk, communicate, ride a bicycle, or work through math problems. As we grow older, we learn this through relationship conflict and even loss of loved ones. These hardships don’t destroy you if you embrace them and take them in stride. They can help forge your emotional and psychological resilience. All this is a roundabout way of saying that when you’ve gone through something as life-changing as a divorce, whether that divorce was acrimonious or civil, there is life beyond it. Part of what life holds after a divorce is the possibility of dating and entering another committed relationship with someone. Frisco Christian Counseling can help guide you through this transition, offering support as you heal and prepare for new relationships. How does divorce affect a person? It may be tempting to get back on the horse as soon as possible after a divorce and to start dating again. However, the loss of a loved one through divorce is a loss, and loss affects people in profound ways. Sometimes, that loss can surprise you by moving you to tears, or even to anger. This is grief working its way through you as you process what you’ve been through. In addition to grief, divorce also affects you by altering your living situation as well as your economic status in many cases. You may have had two incomes and one household to maintain, but a divorce can be expensive and splits the family’s income between two households. This is to say nothing of the challenge of changing your life trajectory because of the divorce, or the feelings of [...]

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Childhood Emotional Neglect: Examples, Signs, and Treatment

Childhood Emotional Neglect: Examples, Signs, and Treatment

Kate Motaung2025-05-21T06:33:43+00:00March 28th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

In the Bible’s view, children are a gift and one of the ways the Lord shows His favor to people. One Psalm says, Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate – Psalm 127:3-5, NASB These precious gifts come to us vulnerable and in need of nurture. It’s the responsibility of a parent or caregiver to provide a safe environment that allows that child to flourish and meet their full potential. The unfortunate reality, however, is that not every parent or caregiver has the intention, capacity, resources, or skills to meet the needs of a child successfully. Childhood emotional neglect is a concern that affects many children when they are young, and its impact lasts into their adulthood. Frisco Christian Counseling can help individuals address and heal from the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect, offering support for emotional growth and healing. Defining childhood emotional neglect The picture that might be conjured when you hear the word ‘neglect’ in connection with children could be a dark one. You might picture neglect as starving or isolating a child from contact with other people by locking them up in a basement. Such actions, because they are intentionally disregarding the needs and well-being of a child, would be better classified as childhood emotional abuse. ‘Neglect’ primarily names the way a parent or caregiver fails to notice or act upon a child’s expressed needs. Examples of childhood emotional neglect A parent who meets the physical needs of a child can be emotionally neglectful if they don’t meet the emotional needs of that child. [...]

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How to Fix Your Marriage After the Affair

How to Fix Your Marriage After the Affair

Jennifer Kooshian2025-05-21T06:24:01+00:00December 30th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Having a marriage damaged by infidelity is intensely painful. But the affair does not automatically mean the end of a marriage union. This brief article describes how fix your marriage after the affair. While it is true that there are not many harder knocks a marriage can take than the sense of betrayal and heartbreak of infidelity, experience shows that when both marriage partners are committed to ensuring their relationship is rebuilt and completely healed, many marriage relationships do survive. Sometimes they thrive after the affair because of the renewed bonds of intimacy. Frisco Christian Counseling offers support for couples navigating this difficult journey, helping them rebuild trust and strengthen their relationship. Defining an affair. There is no one set definition of an affair that everyone subscribes to. It could be that one person in the marriage relationship defines infidelity differently from what their partner does. This could be when there is an emotional connection between a marriage partner and another person. Does the fact that there was no sex automatically mean that there was no infidelity? Each marriage partner needs to come to a clear understanding of what betrayal means for the marriage. What are the reasons for affairs? Unfortunately, affairs happen in all types of marriages. This may include those which seem happy and content, and more typically those which already experience a variety of issues. These factors are often listed as a lack of affection, falling ‘out of love’ with the other, having a weak commitment to the relationship, low self-esteem, physical and mental health issues, and some types of addiction. Stressful periods, such as being apart for a long time, or major life changes, like when your children leave home, as well as problems that are not addressed inside the marriage such as avoiding conflict, [...]

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